something, somewhere....elusive....

A single woman and her son lived by themselves in the city.Their lives revolved around each other.

One day, both of them went to a local "fun-fair", a mela.Engrossed in the colour and the entertainment, they were enjoying themselves, when suddenly, the woman realized that her son was missing.

She was distraught.She searched here and there but of no avail.She made a police complaint.But he was nowhere to be found.

A week, passed , then a month. He was still missing.

The woman was in no mood to eat anything. Her relatives tried consoling her, but it did not work. The wound was too raw and fresh.

6 months passed and a year. Some of the live pain had subsided or rather it appeared to be. It was suppressed to an extent. She was eating something now and then. But a kind of listlessness filled her being.

A direct impact of the suppression.

She was merely managing her pain, it had not been released.

Soon, her relatives extolled her to start some tuitions, to keep her mind occupied. It was tough to concentrate but she relented.

Soon her tuitions became a big enterprise. She created an institution.All her time was occupied, no time to think of anything else.

The sorrow of losing her son remained, albeit a distant memory. She was still listless, but often wondered why?

Her pain was not alive....It was present but deep within, unobserved , unconscious...


Can we see the same in our lives....some missing link( call it God or what you may), long forgotten and elaborately suppressed through "management" mechanisms.

We try to fill up our lives in myriad ways, but each attempt only makes the void more pronounced. Activities qualify our lives; for some of us it is spending time at the bar, for others it is sex, for yet others , it is religion....all mechanisms originating from teh sense of discomfort we dare not face, the sense of security that all of us seek through various concepts. To the vast majority of us who "believe" in God, that too is not "real" to us.It is the projection of a concept.To those of us who dont, that is just an "alternative" concept.

None of us really "know".

The misery, the boredom, the meaningless hit us time and again , peeping in through our management mechanisms.

Can escaping the basic pain and misery of boredom and meaninglessness ever be a solution.It only leads to a temporal cosmetic arrangement, a way to manage our pain.

Being in touch with that fundamental pain is the key to a million or more locks in our lives.To be in touch is to be aware.

The fundamental ignorance and pain is our "reality". To me, it makes sense to start there; it is a fact of our lives; and from there on move to facts as they evolve for us....does not mean we have to reject concepts. But we have to be constantly aware that they are "concepts as yet for us."

And to be aware is to be freed......

We live and act, dont just react.....

In my perspective, to escape constantly and not be in touch with our cores is to condemn ourselves to a life of mediocrity and meaninglessness. One has live in awareness every moment.

-inspirations from my master

as an ancient Indian prayer expresses....

Asatoma Satgamaya......from the unreal lead us to the real...

Tamasoma Jyotirgamaya.....from darkness lead us to light....

Mrityorma Amritangamaya.....from death lead us to immortality....

Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi......