fidelity blues....

fidelity is a morality concept that contributes to many a misery....a friend was recently sharing her insecurities which prompts this post....

some of my perspectives may challenge existing notions.....but i find a clarity of a perception a critical need to address the issue.....and sometimes to reach clarity, we have to strip ourselves of our perceptions nakedly and see them...

relationships in fuctional domains more often than not is transactional and qualified by life-administrative aspects. It is not unconditional space the way it is.

No judgements on that..it is a choice some of us make.

some of us aspire for unconditionality and it requires as much giving as taking in space domains.It is not easy, but then mebbe it is really worth it....

to relate in the absence of possessiveness and other allied attributes has its own unique spiritual flavours..it emerges out of an understanding that it is what relating is all about....else one is transacting...on mutual needs

....it does not entail denial of possessiveness or other attributes....some of us feel suffocated in existing paradigms of relating and explore alternative domains.....

to me , to relate is to be able to accept, to trust unconditionally.....

it is about moments shared in such ambience.....and an ability to respect freedom of expression in other moments as one would chose it to be....conditionality applies to activity or a set of activities and is more administrative in perspective.

to relate , to me, is an ambience of underlying acceptance and love, something i feel most of us tend to confuse with "like".

"insecurity" is within us......and needs to be addressed...."fidelity issues" can be administratively "managed" , but somewhere basic questions on relating have to be addressed for "growth in love".

most of transactional relates have their emergence in our fundamental fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities.We find our security in the "feeling" of being "needed" by the other.our lives sometimes tragically , is a struggle to increase the other's dependency on us to sustain our "need" for feeling "needed".

No problems as long as we are able to see it for what it is. else, some of the emergences in such spaces can be downright disappointing and contrary to desirables as we perceive them.

No accident that the phrase "falling" in love has been coined somewhere in human consciousness rather than "rising" ( no pun intended) in love.Can we through our relationships expand our whole canvas of love?