At the end of winning a rat race, we are still a rat.

September 29, 2006

bhakti rasa...

was listening to an old Jagjit favourite from cry for CRY. was privileged to be a part of the production team on behalf of CRY...the lyrics and melody seem to grow on one...

Mujhme jo bhi achha hai sab uska hai,
Mera Jitna Charcha Hai sab uska hai..

Meri aankhen unki noor se roushan hai
maine jo bhi socha hai sab uska hai..

Maine jo kuch khoya tha sab uska tha
Maine jo kuch paaya hai sab uska hai

Jitni Baar main toota hoon, woh toota tha,
idhar udhar jo bikhra hai, sab uska hai...


Rivers have a special place in my life.They serve as a constant reminder that we never meet the same river twice.It is a dynamic in constant, perennial flow.Likewise, life, where, as Heraclitus mentioned, the only constant is change.With an underlying permanance which is our core of centredness, the canvas keeps shifting hues and shades...even when we meet or relate to people, serves us to remember that it is two dynamic entities connecting normally, unless one connects from the underlying core of oneness that binds us all...watching from that centre, our epicentre of awareness...

September 28, 2006


When they came to tell a man that his house had been carried away by the flood, he laughed and said, "impossible! I have the key to the house right here in my pocket!"

- anthony de mello

September 27, 2006

conflicts, intrinsic to the mind...

a poignant post on perspective inc's blog triggers this post...

when we encounter events, mundane or critical, more often than not, they are accompanied by a conflict.We are unable to decide and even if we do, a nagging doubt persists on whether we made the right choice. A sense of residual incompletion remains.

To me, it is intrinsic to operating withing the mind realms.The mind works on the principle of benchmarking and comparisons and is a very good faculty for our functional world expresses viz.writing a software programme, managing administrative nuances of life and relationships , so on and so forth.

But when it comes to aspects such as love, joy, happiness etc, the mind is hardly the faculty.Love and joy are not attributes of the mind, so to seek it in those realms qualifies as a failure of intelligence.One cannot plan or try to love or to be joyous. One just is.

And when one just is, there is an absence of conflict, defined as a spiritual state of being by seers.In this state, one is guided and operates from the heart, nay the mind. One uses the mind, one is not used by the mind.We are used by the mind when conditionings and mental formations guide the destiny of our lives.

When one operates out of the heart,it's intrinsic quality is joy and love.There is a sense of completion even in seemingly paradoxical situations.The heart does not see things as right and wrong, it just responds.Right and wrong are concepts born in the mind.

The heart is intrinsically integral, not conceptually so.

Spirituality to me is movement from the mind to the heart as the driver of our life.

We can manage situations cosmetically and symptomatically outside, but it will always be at the expense of joy.We have to focus on the "process" of conflict, not on the content.Irrespective of the content we chose,conflict and a lack of fulfilment remain.

We should focus not on content but rather on "seeing"....

being consumed....

This post was triggered by various contemporary shares/discussions in blogspace.

sometimes, a thought overpowers us to the exclusion of everything else; it consumes us day in and day out..we get stuck in it, paralysed, unable to move.It is like a cyclone within, disturbing our sense of calm and peace...we become irritable, snap at people and are unable to concentrate on anything...we lose control...

it could happen with an experience of fear,intense sexual desire, anger, lust for an object or just about anything...the thought grips our life, we come to a standstill...

we feel suffocated and yearn to release it through an indulgence in it's(the thought's) seeking...a mixture of helplessness and fear/guilt of abandonment grips us...we are paralysed...

The moment can be miserable when we see our lack of control...we fear losing ourselves in the process and often step back...

when we are consumed by a thought, it can often bridge us to the source of all that is, on account of it's focussedness.Being aware in such moments and allowing the storm to pass in acceptance rather than rejection or denial can lead us to the power and joy of "experiencing" as it is...a spiritual existential threshold...Normally , we tend to run away from such moments; escaping it's seeeming wrath in a host of activities, taking our mind off it, so to say...But just staying there and being in it can lead us to ecstactic domains of consciousness.Sometimes, one is blessed and nature disallows us to escape; we are just there and the miracle of experiencing cannot experience the river by waiting on the banks somewhere one has to trust it's flow and plunge into it's depths..

It is a moment of realization that thought is not our thought; it merely flows through us; we are not the source of it; we merely tune in to it in the band of universal consciousness...

September 24, 2006


i remember a friend's father complaining that though all his 3 sons were electrical engineers, he had to depend on an electrician to rectify the tubelight setting.

Sounds familar....?

It is a common observance.

I can never cease to wonder at the natural intelligence of electricians, carpenters, cobblers,automotive mechanics and so on...They do not seem limited by acquired knowledge systems and are able to tap into seeming intuitive realms.I remember an incident in Delhi when I was presenting to some senior technology experts at the DOE.(Dept of Electronics). It was a spiritual content presentation and I was using a VCR to assist me.I myself am armed with a degree in electronics.

As is very often the case,the cassette refused to play.Many heads attempted to address the issue, but of no avail.

It was then that my driver , Jaswant walked upto me and sought my permission to tinker with it.He played around the same for a few minutes and borrowed the head-rubber band a female member of our group was wearing.He replaced the belt on the cassette drive and lo and behold, the VCR functioned.

I have had occasion to observe such innumerable instances of a free flow intelligence at work as different from an organised acquired knowledge based approach.

There is a universal intelligence at play which we see as conventionally educated folk often fail to tap.An intuitive intelligence we can tune in to...

The intelligence which guides birds and animals towards food and prey; influence the cross-country migration of birds like the Siberian cranes, year-in year-out to south india; an intelligence which makes our digestive, excretory and reproductive systems work, with apparently no effort from our sides; the intelligence which enables our growth from infancy to old age......the list goes on...

if we pause to think, we do not aid many of the most essential happenings in our lives; they happen inspite of ourselves...

a throbbing, dynamic intelligence at work, a silent dynamo....the process we call life...


Little Mary was on the beach with her mom.

"mummy, may I play in the sand?"

"No, Darling. You'll only soil your clean clothes."

"May I wade in the water?"

"No, you'll get wet and catch a cold."

"May I play with the other children?"

"No, you'll get lost in the crowd."

"Mummy, buy me an icecream."

"No, it's bad for your throat."

Little Mary began to cry.

Mother turned around to a woman who was standing nearby and said, "For heaven's sake! Have you ever seen such a neurotic child?"

turn over a new leaf....

sometimes, phrases make me wonder at the perspective of the creator(of the phrase).take this one , for eg..turning over a new leaf...used to indicate a kind of transformative act...however, a new leaf on the tree is still very similar and fundamentally the same...maybe,"turning over a new leaf" is just symbolic and cosmetic within a set of given parameters.for a real transformative experience, the whole plant has to be new, not merely the leaf...a death of the old and a re-formation...rather than transformation...

September 23, 2006

Prayer to the Divine Mother..

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Mathru Rupena Samsthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Daya Rupena Samsthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Sakthi Rupena Samasthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Lakshmi Rupena Samasthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Budhi Rupena Samashtitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha


September 22, 2006

vidya's rendevouz with simi...

read this fascinating excerpt in today's DNA.To be aired this Sunday on Star.

Simi: Do you feel you are the chosen one?
Vidya: When we want things to happen in a certain way and they don't, we think that's the end of the world. But I'm a diehard optimist. I believe that all happens for the best.

Simi: You spend a lot of time in the temple.
Vidya: We've always been taught to pray and to believe that there's a supernatural guiding force which is responsible for everything. But I don't think anyone from my family is much into it. They all pray for sure, even if it's on the bed. But I spend a lot of time.

Simi: What gives you such deep faith?
Vidya: I think it's a combination of what I have read and the experiences that people have had. I have seen great things happening to people. When you surrender, it's beautiful. You realise you're not the doer. I don't think any of us are doing anything. We're just playing out God's plan!

Simi: What type of a relationship do you have with God?
Vidya: I think the guy up there is in each one of us.

Simi: Do you talk to him?
Vidya: All the time! Prayer is a self-fulfilling process. When you genuinely want something, like Paulo Coelho said, 'The Universe conspires to get it for you'. Where there is doubt, it won't happen.

Simi: Has your faith ever wavered?
Vidya: Not much any longer. But there were times when I used to be a very badly behaved teenager! But somewhere faith took over and I've been calmer.

Stark Reality...

Killing time before time kills me...these words on a fellow blogger's profile hit me hard and direct. A very integral observation , I thought; and true for many of us, however much we may try to deny it. We do exist but hardly live. We go through the motions of life,inventing new articles and activities of occupation to manage our melancholy, boredom and meaninglessness.Each attempt at filling up this emptiness only seems to enhance the vacuum.We are afraid to die, hence continue living.

The words of a sufi poet come to mind...Yeh ilm ka sauda, yeh rishale , yeh kitabe...ik shaksh ki yaadon ko bulaane ke liye hai..guess we have to reconnect to the source from which we seem to have separated eons back..attempts to fill that gap is what we call life colloquially.

The death within, our stark reality.We try to be happy, try to love, try to live...pathetic...The words on the travelogue tell us that the sunrise in Kanyakumari has to be savoured,enjoyed...we try to live up to the words, our reality is very different.We are supposed to find enjoyment in a host of activities, but without an intrinsic capacity for joy , the most pleasureable of activities carry with them the seeds of abject misery.

Joy is not in an activity, it is intrinsic to being.Life is not about trying to live, it is in living...

these words happen even as i try to learn...oops, as I me, a reconnect to the source of all there is , is the need of the hour.

September 21, 2006

ride the donkey....

The mind is nothing but conditioning, beliefs, thoughts etc. They are making use of your life for their survival. A single thought, let us say a communist or a religious thought enters a young person, it can become like a bug in his mind and make use of his life for its survival. That is why we are against all beliefs. And we put you through a program to de-condition you, because when you get conditioned, a lot of ideas are put into you, lot of beliefs are put into you and these exactly live like a human being. One of the words used for these thoughts are – meems. When you observe, they say – me me, me me me. That’s how they continue. They fight for their survival. When you talk of war between countries, it is a war of ideas. It could be capitalism Vs. communism or anything for that matter. These are basically ideas fighting and they begin to rule over you. That is why we refer to the mind as a donkey. It is basically a donkey because there is no sense in these concepts. Hence you should ride over a donkey and not the other way round.

Once your heart is opened you very naturally are virtuous not because they were put into you as a concept. That’s why I maintain cultivated virtue is a horror because you want to do the opposite. All the time you are struggling, putting up an act and pretending to be something, which you are not. In due course it destroys you. It should be natural to you. Mind is good if you can make use of it. The mind has to be your servant and not your boss. But if it is going to make use of you, you are destroyed. That is what is happening to the unenlightened. In the case of the unenlightened person, the mind is the master. In the case of the enlightened person, the mind is his servant.

-Sri Bhagavan

September 20, 2006

Being with oneself...

this post is triggered by an interesting conversation I had with a couple of friends.With so many communication devices and routes as well as entertainment avenues, man hardly spends any quality time with himself in silent introspection.infact, getting moments free is a trauma for many as an activity-centric lifestyle is a surrogate time management route...keeping oneself busy is a way out of those nagging questions which may become burdensome...Activity, more often than not,is a device for sorrow management; a way out of boredom and meaninglessness for many of us.And we keep on hunting for fresh entertainment devices...

Careful observation of this management strategy makes me wonder whether forgetting leads to resolution.I daresay, no.It construes as a mere re-arrangement, a palliative remedy at the most, which tends to surface at the most inopportune moments.When it remains suppressed, it leads to chronic depressions, anxiety neurosis and the like.

Wounds cannot be healed by locking them up. They have to be opened up...

When we tend to escape it,the divine conspiracy that life is, it forces us towards fundamental questions through a manifest of crises which are events designed for our learning and evolution...we cannot forever escape the learnings that should finally reconnect us to the source of all there is....

September 17, 2006

Why the Buddha waits at heaven's gate?

Whatsoever you do, do it with deep alertness; then even small things become sacred. Then cooking or cleaning become sacred; they become worship. It is not a question of what you are doing, the question is how you are doing it. You can clean the floor like a robot, a mechanical thing; you have to clean it, so you clean it--then you miss something beautiful. Cleaning the floor could have been a great experience--you missed it; the floor is cleaned but something that could have happened within you has not happened. If you were aware, alert, not only the floor but you yourself would have felt a deep cleansing.

Clean the floor full of awareness, luminous with awareness. Work or sit or walk, but one thing has to be a continuous thread: make more and more moments of your life luminous with awareness. Let the candle of awareness burn in each moment, in each act. The cumulative effect is what enlightenment is. The cumulative effect, all the moments together, all small candles together, become a great source of light.

The story is that when Gautam Buddha died he reached the doors of paradise. Those doors rarely open, only once in a while, in centuries--visitors don't come every day, and whenever someone comes to those doors the whole of paradise celebrates it. One more conscious-ness has attained to flowering, and existence is far richer than it has ever been before.

The doors were opened, and the other enlightened people who had entered into paradise before... because in Buddhism there is no God, but these enlightened people are godly--so there are as many gods as enlightened people. They had all gathered at the door with music, with song and with dance. They wanted to welcome Gautam Buddha but to their amazement he was standing with his back to the gate. His face was still looking toward the far shore that he had left behind.

They said, "This is strange. For whom are you waiting?"
He's reported to have said, "My heart is not so small. I'm waiting for all those I have left behind who are struggling on the way. They are my fellow travelers. You can keep the doors closed--you will have to wait a little for the celebration of my entering into paradise, because I have decided to enter this door as the last man. When everybody else has become enlightened and entered the door, when there is nobody left outside, then my time will have come to enter."

This story is a story--it cannot be an actual fact. It is not within your hands; once you have become enlightened you will have to enter into the universal source of life. It is not a question of your choice or decision. But the story is that he is still trying, even after his death. This story arose out of what he had said he was going to do on the last day before his death--that he would wait for you all.

He cannot wait here any longer, he has already waited over his time. He should have been gone by now but, seeing your misery and your suffering, he somehow kept himself together. But it has become more and more impossible. He will have to leave you--reluctantly--but he will wait for you on the other shore; he will not enter paradise, it is a promise: "So don't forget that for you, I will be standing there for centuries. But hurry, don't let me down, and don't let me wait too long." ~Osho

seeing in integrity...

To see something integrally is to see it holistically and completely, either as the whole or as a part of the whole. Not to see it as apart from the whole. This seeing is freedom regardless of what you are seeing, or what the content is. The content could be a grain of sand, a fish, a thought, ego, anger, jealousy, etc; the freedom is in this seeing. There is acceptance, awareness, stillness of energy, and no wastage of energy. There is a clarity of thought and focus which translates into efficient functioning in the world.

To see integrally is to see that life is relationships. Hence in order for your life to flourish, your relationships must be in order.

- Ravi Krishnamurthy,

September 13, 2006

artistes alcove...

Artistes Alcove at the Arpan farm at Karjat....a regular hangout and hideout since the last 14 years for friend, aijaz's abode..

yesterday was amongst my last visits...the 110 acre farm has been sold and a resort is coming up...

so many beautiful memories...rain picnics, spiritual dialogues and debates, workshops for under-privileged kids, music mehfils, photo and video shoot sessions, people connects, .....the list is endless.

I am going to miss the place..aijaz is shifting to a closeby place ; the creation of yet another artistes alcove...

September 12, 2006

seeds of conditioning....

The telephone rang.Gaurav, all of 6 years, lifted it. His father beckoned silently to him; "do not indicate I am there"....

The same father, who otherwise extolled him the virtues of honesty.

Gaurav experienced a conflict...

he was learning about the fickleness of life and the concepts that come into play there.

the seeds of conflict sown would stay with him for life...


mind sets and images...

every human is unique.however, we are quick to associate images in accordance with our own mindsets.Thus, there is the spiritual kind, the NGO kind, the wild kind, so on and so forth...Are not these associations vastly unfounded? Every individual is a rare and unique combo space of attitudes and values and perceptions on various issues and warrants a personal explore in non-judgemental spaces if one has to know them really.How often do we give encounters in our life that opportunity....

September 11, 2006

let go...

This guy was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped, then grabbed at a branch and was hanging there. After an hour or so had passed he felt himself getting exhausted and looked up to the heavens and cried out: "God, help me, please, help me."
All of a sudden the clouds parted and a voice boomed out from on high. "Let Go!" said the voice.
The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, then said: "Is there anyone else up there?"

centenary of the first satyagraha...

It needed a Munnabhai to get Gandhiji back in contemporary consciousness...Today, the news channels are announcing the 100th anniversary of Gandhiji's famous South African episode which gave birth to "Satyagraha" , one of the most potent and effective tools of resistance and objection expression known to man.

Ironical that this date should coincide with a Sep 11 that has come to haunt many of our memories.

Violence within manifests as violence outside and each of us is a critical link in the creation of the world as we see it.

Maybe we need to remind ourselves more of a man who told us, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

Date Rapes : an increasing phenomenon...

Navratri is shortly arriving, a widely celebrated festival in recent times.Alcohol and drug abuse have seen a growth too leading to extensive abuses and violations.

A common phenomenon in the last couple of years has been the marked increase of "date rapes" where odourless and colourless additives are added to hard or soft drinks.These chemicals seem to create a cyclonic craving for sex, a passive resistance and leads to unforeseen trauma later.It happens to the most educated and intelligent amongst us and lot of unsuspecting people are caught in subsequent webs of trauma.

It is important for everyone , especially the youth to be aware of this syndrome when they visit pubs and other spots as part of their should never turn one's back to one's drink; or visit the rest room leaving a half-used glass behind for a continuation later.Always advisable to visit such events with very close and known friends and yet be on the alert.A lot of date rapes are known to have been perpetuated by close friends and known acquaintances.

To me, more than the physical act of sex, non-consensual sex is a blatant violation that can leave behind so many scars.It is a violation of the fundamental dignity of a person and can lead to a humiliated existence.Anger and resentment can affect future relationships and make one very vulnerable to hurt.I have seen and interacted with people who have been victims of this syndrome.

I would not suggest people to stop enjoying their parties and the like. To each their own in their entertainment and recreation choices; but please be on guard always.

The price one pays for a lack of alertness and awareness can be very high....

September 10, 2006

comments posting problem?

if you are encountering a "comments posting" problem here with your blogger account, please try posting as "other" in blogger comments identity space.Seems blogger is taking long to sort out its "commenting space" issues.
Thank You.

mystic moments...

love, to me, as i have encountered it's various hues and nuances of expression , has evolved into an underlying state of being, flooding all in it's wake..i no longer perceive it as person or activity specific, not even as an emotion...rather as a very fundamental aspect much like the fragrance of the rose, which is not spread by any effort; rather it is a happening, a state of just "being" rather than trying to "become" something or somebody.

One would still continue to have likes and preferences vis-a-vis activity and people-space shares; a state of love floods these spaces rather than love being stimulated through these encounters.Love enriches moments of our existence with a deep sense of fulfilment and underlying joy.It is an anchor which reduces our vulnerabilities wrought about by various dependencies to activities or people; thus it is not sustained by paradigms of fear and insecurity, rather it is a spontaneous celebration of life and it's offerings...

The discovery of love is indeed an eternal voyage, an eternal pigrimage...

simplicity, the essence of beauty...

when it comes to meeting and knowing celebs, I have led a very chequered life, it would seem.Some I have grown up with, some I have seen grow and others, I have had an opportunity to closely interact.One is witness to the struggle, the frustrations and so on before success decides to bless their efforts..

Observing these parallel universes has been a learning by itself for me...

A recent addition to this list has been Vidya Balan, the talk of the town after her performances in Parineeta and LRM...have had occasion to know her literally since she was born...a simple, straight forward person, whose sense of focussedness has been a revelation..single-minded determination to reach where she is now..yet retaining her humility and down-to-earthiness..prayer has been her forte, her anchor..had a recent encounter with her just before the release of LRM when she come to pray at our community celebrations of Ganeshutsav...very humbly, she wanted all of us to pray for her impending release...that we did...

am very glad for you, vidya and rather proud at your achievements..You have a long way to go..God Bless...

September 09, 2006

from my are love...

Beautiful perspective on love.....a state of being..

The Universe Loves You
By Jafree Ozwald & Margot Zaher

You are inherently lovable and have always been loved by the Universe. In fact, you are love itself. The problem is that most of us live under a false illusion that we just do something, or be somebody special to earn love and acceptance. We spend our lives trying to get peoples’ love and acceptance when love surrounds us and permeates every atom in this Universe. It's like we are fish in the ocean seeking, searching and thirsty for water. Once we just relax into this simple truth that love is here now, you feel loved by the Universe and know you are always taken care of.The great secret is relaxing into this knowingness completely.

"I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty." ~Kabir

Sometimes you might be thinking, “But I can't feel truly loved by anyone, how can I feel loved by the Universe?”If you don’t feel the warmth and love from this divine Universe, then you are the one who is blocking out love.It is the armor around your heart that is protecting you from getting hurt again.So with these emotional shields it can be challenging to feel the loving energy that naturally surrounds us.The greatest thing is that the Universe will do everything to help you pull your walls down.It will create heart opening situations that will penetrate your shields and eventually cause them to melt completely. The key is to remain open and receptive to allowing this to happen.

One of most amazing things about the Universe is that it is always a perfect flawless mirror for what is happening inside you.Meaning that whatever energy you send out is exactly what you will feel coming back to you.When you send out kindness and patience to others, you'll experience people treating you with more understanding, gentleness and patience. Now this flawless mirror can be a blessing or a curse, depending on what you are habitually focusing upon and vibrationally sending out. If you are in the habit of sending out fear, desperation, or those "poor me" victim feelings, then you are truly wasting your time and missing the greatest opportunity of your lifetime! This is to experience yourself as a truly divine lovable human being who is the source of love and is constantly FEELING loved by the Universe!

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved." ~George Sand

The good news is that even when you do send out negative vibrations, the Universe still loves and supports you. In these moments when your mind is clogged with negativity, you may just not be able to feel this gentle supporting love that is all around you. When you are focusing on fear or negativity, you are in essence wearing dark glasses that shield the rays of love and light from the Universe. However, you can choose at any moment to take off your glasses and see the greatest truth and essence of your being. That you are lovable, and the source of love! Every moment holds the opportunity for you to recognize the Divine loveable being that you are, perfect just as you are in every way.

The following is an experience told by Margot:

One day about 7 years ago, I walked into my neighborhood grocery store in a very bad mood. The day had been full of misadventures and mishap. Anyway, I had only one thing to buy and had to stand in line for a very long time. I kept thinking, “These people are all selfish. They haven’t even offered to let me go ahead of them.” As I approached the cash register I thought, “Boy, the cashiers who work here are not very nice. They didn’t even smile at me.” As I left the store, I thought, “I don’t really like this store. Everybody is just so shut down and unfriendly.”

"Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top the view is beautiful." ~Daniel Monroe Tuttle

A few days later, I returned to the same grocery store. This day, however, I walked into the store in a really positive uplifted mood. I thought, “It’s so great just to be alive.” My experience in the store was radically different. While I still stood in line for a very long time, I decided to make friends with the people in line. I chatted back and forth with them, and thought to myself, “Everybody is so friendly in this store.” In fact, I even made a new friend that day standing in line, and we promptly did something together that very same day. As I arrived at the checkout counter, I was greeted by the same cashier. However, this time I saw the smile on her face, and heard the warmth in her greeting for I had taken of my dark glasses and could see the love around me. I have had many direct experiences of both feeling and not feeling loved by the Universe. It is very evident that my attitude directly impacts my ability to perceive and feel love and support.

So remember that you can feel how much the entire Universe loves you by just shifting your energy and taking off any dark glasses you may be wearing. The more you open up to the natural love of the Universe, the more you see how the whole Universe is truly supporting you and sending you what you need to manifest your dreams.

first bloom...

I do not know how it feels to have a baby...but i guess this comes close...the first bloom in a pot in my terrace garden...a moment of very great joy...

September 08, 2006

self rejection...

Blogs and chat spaces have become prolific platforms for human interaction.It also has enabled a lot of "brushed under the carpet" spaces getting released into the bank of human consciousness; a necessity, in my opinion.It is an often observed pattern that we are able to be ourselves more in the garb of anonymity. Association with an identity brings to fore image and other associations which we seek security in.And rightly so, because our connects and relationships in realtime are very rarely unconditional and all accepting.We relate to our concept of the other, rather than to the other, and when there is a digression in realtime away from this projection, the relationship suffers, whcih more often than not is an unacceptable situation.

to me, it all begins with our inability to accept ourselves as we are.Our lack of acceptance of ourselves projects itself in spaces outside.We are uncomfortable in being the people we are.Self-rejection manifests manifold in our external relationships.

when we are accepting of ourselves, others are able to accept us better....
easier said than done,

i have seen jhalaks of this paradigm at work in my i am still exploring it...

September 07, 2006


"This world has to be loved, this world has to be respected, this world has to be your temple, your mosque your church. This world has to be your gratefulness, your gratitude. Enlightenment is not something of another world. Enlightenment happens now and here."

- Osho

September 06, 2006

in the ghetto...and in paradise...

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago morning
A poor little baby child is born in the ghetto
And his mama cries
cause if theres one thing that she dont need
Its another hungry mouth to feed in the ghetto
People, dont you understand
The child needs a helping hand
Or he’ll grow to be an angry young man some day

Take a look at you and me
Are we too blind to see
Do we simply turn our heads and look the other way

Well the world turns
And a hungry little boy with a runny nose plays in the street
As the cold wind blows in the ghetto

And his hunger burns
So he starts to roam the streets at night
And he learns how to steal and he learns how to fight in the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
A young man breaks away
He buys a gun, steals a car, tries to run, but he don't get far

And his mama cries
As a crowd gathers round an angry young man
Face down on the street with a gun in his hand in the ghetto

As her young man dies,
On a cold and gray chicago morning,
Another little baby child is born in the ghetto

– “In the ghetto” by Elvis Presley

She calls out to the man on the street
"Sir, can you help me?
It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?"

He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, it's another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she's been crying
She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
Can't walk but she's trying

Oh think twice...

Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that she's been there
Probably been moved on from every place
'Cos she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice...

-Phil Collins

Ganpati Bappa Morya...

Today is the visarjan day in Mumbai ...


1,20,228 lac Ganesh idols;

43,000 security personnel;

50,000 volunteers...

- source: midday

and this is Mumbai's pride : Lalbaugcharaja , over 40 feet in height :

Ganpati Bappa Morya...

a criminal is born...

Raju hurried out of the hospital.The conversation with the doctor had shattered him.His mother could survive but she needed a surgery which would cost over 2.5 lacs.With his job as a helper in a private company and her savings as a maid servant with over 25 years experience, he had managed to buy a slum house for himself in Mumbai.It was all of their life-savings that went into the project.

And now , this crisis. His mom was not very old; 56 years.And he wanted to do his best for her. All his options to get a loan were exhausted too.

The conflict raged on as he was suddenly swarmed by the cacaphony of a brass band playing the latest movie tunes.A marriage baraat was on it's way.People were decked from head to feet in gold and silver.

The sight was blinding.

A thought crossed Raju's mind.A single necklace could help solve his problems and give his mother a fresh lease of life.

The thought overpowered him. Fear was thrown to the winds...
And he snatched a necklace off a lady's neck and vanished into the crowd.

A criminal was born....a routine happening...


Commitment, is an oft-discussed topic in contemporary blogspace.

commitment, imo, is a conceptual adherence to a projected ideal, which remains elusive.Fulfilment in connectedness is not a faculty of the mind, an intrinsic attribute of which , on close observance, is discontent.Moot point , to me, when we relate is whether we are relating to the concept of the other or to the other…for relationships to be fulfilling, a spontaneous sense of connectedness is the key in acceptance of oneself and the other.

In this non-judgemental space, where one is centered within, one relates.

Fear is rooted in the concept of the “self” which strives to protect a cultivated image of itself, a mirage.We relate when we just are, a privilege we experience in some spaces; when we strive to become something to suit the other, it becomes and remains an incessant struggle.

In colloquial relating, more often than not, our relationships are sustained by the “other’s need for us” and we struggle to keep up this equation.Our sense of security emerges in the feeling of being “needed”.

And when it comes to relating in intimate spaces, each of us comes in with a projection of what it should be like and strive to live up to it, again a conceptual adherence..we relate to our concept of love, rather than to the other..and few concepts stand up to a reality check…what we are is a far cry from what we see ourselves to be…

September 05, 2006


have been impressed with both of Madhur Bhandarkar's offerings in last few years...first Page 3 and now

..Bringing alive an accepted paradigm of the day, an aspect to which most of us have got immunised, is a great achievement... a reminder perhaps to harsh everyday symptoms of a de-sensitized existence manifesting in all aspects of our lives.

a lot of us may find parallel episodes we have encountered in our daily grinds...every moment is a moment of choices or a lack of the end of the day we need to be integral to ourselves to stay not just alive, but to live well...

father of natural farming...

Yesterday's article in the TOI about Bhaskar Save receiving a honour for his waste and dryland development efforts gladdened me no end.

Amongst the people who have made a significant impact in my life, Fukuoka and Bhaskar Save stand out. Fukuoka's book , One Straw Revolution and my subsequent meet with him re-oriented my perceptions tremendously.Bhaskar Save, I have been privileged to meet up more often during various interfaces inclusive of visits to his farm near Mumbai.The natural and intuitive intelligence of the man amazes me each time.

To me, he represents a key development space alternative with large scale impacts in areas of mass healthy chemical free food production at very low cost and environmental sustenance deliverables at amazing levels( i have seen or heard of no other strategy where water table increases so abundantly and so rapidly).A gateway to a dignified lifestyle for the teeming millions of our country who struggle with poverty and malnutrition issues.

Would such developmental initiatives see the light of day? I am definitely hopeful...


The rain was battering incessantly outside. The storm water drains were overflowing and it seemed that all of nature was roaring in anger.

Latika stood at the window pane observing the torrent. The turmoil in her inner world seemed no less. It was a tornado. Her world seemed to have come to a standstill.

The events of the past few months flitted before her.

Everything seemed to be flowing smoothly. She had a dream job after completing her Masters in Business Administration. Her ample company quarters in upmarket Mumbai enabled her to bring down her parents from Bangalore to stay with her. Being a lone child, her parents, peers et all applied constant pressure for her to get married and she had finally succumbed. She went in for an arranged marriage with Ashok, after the mandatory matching of horoscopes.

Ashok seemed a great sort in the time she had known him, an extension of her dream manifests. He was very comfortable with her supporting her parents and gave her, her own space, something she cherished deeply. He was caring and valued their shared space.

It all seemed so beautiful until…

Sep 5, 2005. Her mobile ring sought her attention. She was expecting Ashok’s call from the airport on his way back from Delhi. It was his mobile number, but the voice was different. In hurried tones, the voice informed her that Ashok had met with an accident enroute to Delhi airport and lost his life.

Latika’s life came to a standstill……Though marriage was one “aspect” of her life; everything seemed to have got shattered. The fact that she was a successful and respected professional with a wide network of friends and acquaintances hardly mattered.

A constant question plagued her…Why did this have to happen to me?

Resentment, frustration, anger…the list was endless...

And much of her resentment was directed at her parents at whose insistence she went in reluctantly for an arranged marriage. The astrologer was nowhere to be seen. She saw herself as a modern woman who had carved a niche for herself, taking charge of her life in all aspects..well, almost, she thought. She had left the decision of her marriage to her parents and accepted their abilities and discretions in the matter. And now, this had to happen after they had convinced her of the infalliability of astrology and their astrologer.

While she knew they did what they felt to be best for her, she found it difficult to forgive them, making them responsible for her situation.

She was paralyzed into inaction…

Until it dawned on her that she had chosen it thus….and she had to accept responsibility, not shy away from it….The clouds cleared outside and sunlight flooded her portico.

She felt a deep sense of compassion for her parents , understanding their own sense of loss and pain.Her own resentment had added to their suffering.

She moved on….

A very happy, joyous,love-filled and colourful ONAM to all of you...


When we share spaces with anyone, irrespective of the activity in q, an underlying sense of mutual respect is imperative for a sense of connectedness.More than listening to the other person, it is important, we listen to ourselves, our inner mind chatter in the course of a conversation/interaction.Being aware at a moment of conversation enables the dawning of respect in the interaction.

A moment of awareness is a moment of integrity and it is only in integrity that one can really relate.To relate thus, away from masked interfaces, imo, is a fundamental human need.It is a naturally healing space in connectedness and in an unconscious recognition of the oneness of all that is, a dissolution of separatedness.

September 04, 2006

awareness is being....

"It is not a matter of becoming, but of Being. Remain aware of yourself and all else will be known. The Self is all-pervading"

~Ramana Maharishi


Like an autumn tree
That sheds all its leaves,
When the mind
Stands denuded and empty
Of all its fluttering leaves
Of desires and dreams,
It becomes ready
To receive the heavenly showers...
- Dada Gawand

September 02, 2006

daring theme..

It is not often one observes Bollywood directors toy around with controversial plots especially with leading men and women involved in the starcast. kudos to KJ for achieving this with KANK.
An integral presentation..
I wonder what the sequel would be like if there were one..would SRK and RM be able to sustain their "love" or whatever it is , I wonder...Boredom and monotony would tend to set any other situation....yet another "samjhauta" - a compromise, it would seem...
Love is a state of being rather than a sharing of activities or spaces between 2 beings as it is made out to be.When one is in a state of love, one floods spaces that one shares with the would still "like" certain spaces better...
when people are happy they spread happiness; when people are in a state of love they spread the same....imo,it is not person or activity specific... love transcends.... a spiritual state of being....