At the end of winning a rat race, we are still a rat.

December 30, 2006

just flow...

"Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go. God opens millions of flowers everyday without forcing their buds.”



Today is Vaikunta Ekadashi, a day when traditional Hindus aspire to breathe their last as it is believed to take you directly to heaven....

Ironical that a man condemned for his heinous crimes should be put to death today!!!

December 29, 2006


'Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love, but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.'

- Kahlil Gibran

December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas!!!

"If God has loved the world, the whole of fallen creation…

then God gave us no preference over the others.

God has loved my worst enemy

no less than myself."

- Mystery of the Holy Night

Though the word "fallen" does not suit my perspectives, I like what is said here..

And from a message in my inbox,

"Christmas – a moment in time
God takes on the texture of human skin.
A particular color, race, nationality, language,
Gender, family, creed
Markers of identity we will protect.
Through manger, cross, resurrection
through grace alone that which confines is set free.
We are invited to bear a new identity;
the sons and daughters of God."


December 18, 2006

True Listening...

Even as we are in a conversation, it is important to listen to oneself even as one is hearing and talking to the other.A whole occupied space, full of opinions and conditionings is what comes into play. There is so much within us which makes us incapable of listening to the other wholly.When the chatter or the echo within ceases, we just experience the other's words in toto, not judging even as they are speaking, rather "experiencing"...

The silence within is a destination of calm and bliss; a cyclone normally characterizes our existence there.A cyclone that adds to our "positionality" and makes us poor conversers..It is from this domain of acceptance in silence within that enables us to "relate".Else, we are hardly connecting even in seeming intimate zones.

And to relate is to live, rather than exist; in the words of a great contemporary master, Life is Relationships....

December 12, 2006

Being Oneself...

Integrity is being true to oneself.It requires one to really know oneself and operate from one's real motivations.Why are we really doing what we are doing? Our aspirational perceptions of ourselves often get so internalized that we often think and act as persons we aspire to be.What we are is a far cry from what we would like ourselves to be.Wearing masks for the world at large is one thing whereas deceiving oneself with a projected ideal is an altogether different thing.Thus, a person working with under-privileged sections in a socially relevant scenario , in my opinion is there as a matter of personal choice, not any sacrificial lamb led to slaughter.When we make choices, it comes at a cost and we cannot escape them.The manifest of our lives is a direct parameter of teh choices we make deep down within us.The choices themselves are rarely, if ever in domains of freedom, more often than not emerging from realms of conditionality in our unconscious mind layers.

Integrity is the key to all the doors that are seemingly closed in our lives.To be ourselves is to be true to ourselves...the way to live rather than exist...

December 11, 2006

Prayer - a potent weapon

Prayer to one’s chosen form has been regarded as a gateway to Grace from time immemorial.When we operate out of a dire need , prayer is a “happening” in helplessness.

There are a few aspects that require clarification vis-à-vis the art of prayer.Very often people mistake worship for prayer. Worship can be a part of a nitya sadhana(routine religious exercises); it is an acknowledgement, an offering of gratitude to the source of all that is in a way we perceive it.

Worship can also be a part of a planned prayer session; it is always beautiful to start with an acknowledgement of blessings in one’s life and feel grateful for the same.It sets a sacred inner ambience for releasing our prayer or intent into the vast expanses of the universe.

A fundamental need to release a prayer is a strong bond or a sense of connect with one’s chosen form, this could also be formless.A sense of deep connectedness helps emotionalise the prayer and energize it’s manifest more effectively.When one is relating to a form, the scriptures recommend a bond in one of the four Bhavas; Vatsalya, where the object of our worship becomes a parent or a child ; Madhura Rasa, where the object of our worship acquires the hue of a romantic lover or beloved; Sakya Rasa, where the object of our worship is a friend and finally, the Dasya Rasa, where we treat the object of our worship as a master, a ruler, a Guru, God or any other….Relating in one or the other of these forms help us connect in a deep sense of bonding and emotional intimacy.

When the bond is strong, it has the capacity to breakthrough various protocols of communication in this Divine connect.Hence, the emphasis on the Bhakti Rasa in our scriptures.Have we not heard immortal tales of great bhaktas such as Namdev, Pundlik,Mirabai, Sudama and many others who enjoyed a great personal rapport with the objects of their worship.

A second aspect in prayer is the need for clarity vis-à-vis our need. The greater our clarity, the more probable it’s chance of manifesting.Prayer has to be always positive; as an eg if one is praying to seek alleviation from a financial crisis, one should ask for the money one requires rather than wallow in the problem.It also helps to visualize the solution clearly.A positive intent thus released into the universe has a greater possibility of manifesting into an actuality.A person with a chronic and crippling ailment tends to focus on his miserable condition and reinforce the situation.What should be done is a release of a positive intent visualizing ourselves a healthy bereft of the currently manifested condition. We should see ourselves as healed and offer gratitude for the same..

The Universe does not respond to vagueness.However, in the presence of a strong bond, the Universe responds from a tuning in of our deepest needs.

Generally, needs are answered , not desires born in mere mind comparisons.We see a Mercedes Benz as we walk down the road….a desire grips us to own one…this is not a need…When we observe childless couples, more often than not, their need is born in peer pressure rather than in intrinsic longing.One man’s desire can however be another’s need.

The completion of a prayer is in an expression of gratitude to the Divine Will and an unconditional acceptance of Divine Will vis-à-vis the response.We have to acknowledge that our seeking is in the context of our extremely limited perspective of things and events.

Pre-requites for the manifest of our prayers are a harmonious relationship with our parents and with those around us. It is always advisable to offer pada-pooja to our parents in a sense of gratitude and seek their blessings for an alleviation of our problems and a fulfillment of our desires.

The Universe responds to every need of man….as our consciousness levels evolve, we grow in our abilities to manifest whatever we conceive for ourselves.

knowledge and wisdom....

People who seek wisdom soon make an important discovery. Wisdom cannot be sought. Unlike information - which you can most definitely go out hunting or fishing for - wisdom is nobody's prey and nobody's quarry. If you wish to encounter wisdom - you must stand still and allow wisdom to catch you! Wisdom whispers. It rarely shouts. It suggests. It doesn't insist. It finds its way to us if we invite it into our life.
-Jonathan Cainer

December 08, 2006

functional space moults...

Have been a bit stressed on a current professional assignment involving mounting of a corporate celeb event on Saturday.Seem to be magnetizing lot of vagueness on my outside...looking within to explore the seeds of the pattern manifest.. I myself have a tendency to be vague and uncertain on professional terms of interface...simultaneous moult time within and cyclonic functional demands outside...trying to manage two distinct flavours of demanding action and other demanding silent withdrawal...

November 26, 2006

drown in the ocean...

"Gamble everything for love
if you are a true human being.
If not, leave this gathering.
Half-heartedness doesn't reach into majesty.
Don't wait any longer. Dive in the ocean,
leave and let the sea be you."


November 11, 2006

from my inbox...seeing is not believing...

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting
it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"

November 08, 2006

moult time...

looks like an intense moulting a perennial conscious moulter, but the intensities vary...deep silences and pregnant pauses on life's journey at the moment...amidst seemingly chaotic external activity..the silence reigns supreme within...

November 07, 2006

the river in flow....

...the river is everywhere at once, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the rapids, in the sea, in the mountains, everywhere at once, and there is only the "present" time for it, not the shadow of the past, not the shadow of the future...."

- from Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

October 27, 2006

sporadic postings...

diwali and post is seeing a lot of visitors and guests at home..hectic , but great aunt and uncle are visiting too from australia..lot of family catch-up and party time...

for those who may be wondering, hence the sporadic blogging...

October 20, 2006

October 19, 2006

is enlightenment possible through intent?

This beautiful perspective is excerpted from insights of Dr Christian Opitz, presented in

Sri Bhagavan emphazises helplessness, that we cannot change on our own. What about the idea that we can create our own reality through intention?

All human beings are born as emotional beings, without the ability to form conscious intentions. The main portion of neurological pathways in the brain is built in the first three months of life, long before an intentional mind is formed. Various schools of developmental psychology agree that 90% of our psychological patterns are developed in the first years of life, when direct emotional experience without a rational perspective or intention is the dominant life experience. So whatever conscious intentions we formulate later in life to create change, these are always coming from a deeper unconscious resource. All our conscious intentions are fueled by largely unconscious motivations and those motivations cannot be changed through intention. Unconscious motivations are the storehouse of trauma, of limiting ideas about life, of self-sabotage and they came into existence long before we ever could formulate goals and intentions. Therefore no amount of intention can ever change that deeper part of our psyche that determines our life experience much more then the surface of conscious thoughts.

If I am aware of limiting concepts in my mind or trauma in my unconscious, why can I not change these things, for example through positive affirmations?

According to renowned cellular biologist Bruce Lipton, the conscious mind can process 2000 bits of information per second. The unconscious however is processing four billion bits per second. That is a two million to one ratio. If you want to change an unconscious belief or limitation through conscious affirmation, it is like arguing with two million people who are convinced that you are wrong. You might as well try to reverse a tidal wave by shooting at it with a water pistol. Another important factor is also the motivation for using affirmations or any other modality to change. For example, if a person feels like a loser in life and then wants to change that feeling by repeating affirmations of success, the very desire to do so comes from unconscious wounds that where also at the root of blocking success, not from a free conscious choice independent of these wounds. The attempt to change the problem always comes from the problem and is thus an extension of it, not the way to a solution. The brain center associated with deep emotional motivations in the unconscious is the limbic system and the center associated with volition is the frontal cortex. New research form Germany suggests that the limbic system constantly feeds input into the frontal cortex, but there is very little input coming back. This shows how unconscious feelings influence our conscious mind, but the conscious mind is not capable of influencing unconscious feelings.

But I read about studies that show that people can for example improve skills like shooting a basketball just thorugh visualisation wihtout actually practicing the skill. Does this not prove the power of the mind to create change?

One study showed that people who only visualized successful basketball free throw shooting improved by 23% over six weeks, whereas people actually practicing free throw shooting improves by 24%. This study is often cited by those who promote the idea that the mind can be used to change human life. But what did the people in that study actually change? A simple mechanical skill of the sensomotoric nervous system that was competely irrelevant to their happiness or inner freedom. Such a mechanical skill is indeed easy to change with conscious intention. Changing one’s fundamental life experience, how we feel about ourselves and life, what traumas we carry and live out, these are infinitely more complex than shooting a basketball. Changing who we are and what life is in our perception cannot be changed by the conscious mind. The conscious mind is itself a sub-reality of our life experience, and a relatively small one compared to the unconscious and various genetic and collective factors. As such, the conscious mind is powerless to change the greater reality of which it is only a part.

October 18, 2006

Abundant wishes....

Traditionally, the festival of lights, Diwali is celebrated over a period of five days. Each one of the five days has its unique connotation, ceremonies and legends associated.

What is Dhanteras? The every first day of Diwali celebrations is Dhanteras. The festival of Dhanteras is also referred to as Dhantryaodashi. Dhanteras marks the beginning of Diwali celebrations.

When is Dhanteras celebrated? Dhanteras is celebrated on the thirteenth day of the month of Ashwin i.e. two days before Diwali.

Why is Dhanteras celebrated? Dhanteras is celebrated to seek blessings of Goddess Laxmi, the goddess of wealth. In the amalgamation of Dhan teras 'Dhan' means wealth. People and specially the rich community celebrate Dhan teras festival widely.

How is Dhanteras celebrated?

Dhanteras is regarded as an auspicious occasion to buy some gold or silver articles. Many people shop for new utensils for their household.

Dhanteras festival is ideal time for setting up businesses, commencing new projects, housewarming, deciding wedding dates, buying cars and jewellery.

Today, exchange of Dhanteras gifts is extremely popular. Special gifts for Dhanteras flood the markets.

What is the legend behind Dhanteras?

The legend behind Dhanteras is centred on the sixteen-year-old son of King Hima. As per his horoscope he was fated to breathe his last on the fourth day of his marriage owing to snakebite. On the appointed day his wife illuminated the house with numerous lamps and placed a heap of gold and silver coins and ornaments in front of their bedroom. All through the night she sang songs and told stories.

The lights of the lamps, and the dazzle of the coins and ornaments blinded the god of death, Yam devta, who had come as a serpent. He spent the entire night in the heap listening to the sweet sounding songs before leaving peacefully the next morning. Thus, the wife succeeded in saving the life of her husband. This explains, why the Dhan teras festival is also referred to as "Yamadeepdaan".

excerpted from

Om Sreem Kreem Aum Kubera Lakshmi
Kamala Darinyai Dhanakarsinyai Swaha...

Om Yaksha Rajaya Vidhmahe
Alakadisaaya Dhimahe
Tanno Kubera Prachodayaat...

Om Yakshaya Kuberaya Vaishravanaaya
Dhana Dhanyathi Pathaye
Dhana Dhaanya Samruddhime
Dehi Thapaya Swahaha...

May an abundance of abundance flood your lives on the sacred occasion of Dhanteras...

October 14, 2006

citizens of the womb...

i don't need to tell you
what this is about
you just start on the inside
and work your way out
we are all polylingual
but some of us pretend
there's virtue in relying
on not trying to understand
we're all citizens of the womb
before we subdivide
into sexes and shades
this side
that side
and i don't need to tell you
what this is about
you just start on the inside
and work your way out

- excerpts from the lyrics of a song by Ani Difranco...

read the above on blogosphere...moved me deeply...especially, the line referring to us as citizens of the womb..

October 09, 2006

incredible...from my inbox...

The Gift of Total Responsibility

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients--without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called Ho'oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more. I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does--but that may be wrong.

The Hawaiian therapist who healed those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist.

He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years.That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely,' he told me. 'Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.' I was in awe.' Not only that,' he went on, 'but the staff began to enjoy coming to work.

Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?

'I was simply healing the part of me that created them,' he said. I didn't understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life - simply because it is in your life - is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

If you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don't like--is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in h'oponopono means loving yourself.

If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again, he explained.

That's it? 'That's it.'

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.

Let me give you a quick example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message.

This time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you,' I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying 'I love you,' I somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a Ho'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive.

He praised my book, and told me that as I improve myself, my book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

'What about the books that are already sold and out there?' I asked.

'They aren't out there,' he explained, once again blowing my mind with his mystic wisdom. 'They are still in you.' In short, there is no out there. It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves.

Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. When you look, do it with love. ~Author Unknown

Learn how to take responsibility for what you are Manifesting in your life with the 90 Day Manifesting Program!
Many blessings to you,
Jafree &

you can check out

October 08, 2006

digital commandments...

"Excuse me, sir."

"Is that you again, Moses?"

"I'm afraid it is, sir."

"What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?"

"How did you guess?"

"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

"Tell me what you want, Moses."

"But you already know. Remember?"


"Sorry, sir."

"Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!"

"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know those ten things you sent me?"

"You mean the Commandments, Moses?"

"That's it. I was wondering if they were important."

"What do you mean 'were important, Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you."

"Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of course you would see right through that."

"What do you mean 'you lost them! Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"

"No, sir. I forgot."

"You should always save, Moses."

"Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though."

"And did you hear back from any of them?"

"You already know I did."

"What about the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not'. Can he change the words a little bit?"

"Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning."

"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh and recommended calling them the Ten Suggestions, or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"

"Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that."

"I think that means, 'no'. Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"

"I think that is spamming, Moses."

"Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff, and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."

"And what he did say?"

"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those plagues, and that's the reason I lost those ten things, do you?"

"They're called viruses, Moses."

"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them."

"We'll do it the new way, Moses."

"I was afraid you would say that, sir."

"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"

"You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer."

"It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?"

"No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"

"No, Moses."

"One other thing. Why didn't you name them frogs instead of mice, because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"

"I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."

"Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?"

"Say good night, Moses."

"Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse, and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back."

"Which ones are they, Moses?"

"Let's see. 'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.'

"Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets. How does 'Same Day Air' sound?"

October 05, 2006


My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?

- Charles M. Schulz

also saw....

had heard a lot about LRM and more than one reason to see it ; vidya being a local rocks...

October 04, 2006

maine gandhi ko nahin maara...

an awesome it's theme and performances..lot of beautiful, creative things happening in indian celluloid space these days....

October 03, 2006

learning : a repost...

recently celebrated "saraswati pooja", a lovely concept in prayer; an expression of gratitude for all the wisdom and knowledge that flows into our lives from myriad sources.mebbe one should add "blogging" to the endless list of media and sources that fulfil the dream of the rigveda; "Let noble thoughts come to us from every side".The universe, the original multi-media classroom...fascinating, awesome,inspiring, disciplining, self-regulatory and so much more...we are all learners and teachers at the same time as a certain Mr Bach had expressed...
Let this day be a dedication to the spirit of "learning"....
some learnings I have had on "learning" itself"
.never pre-judge, pre-suppose.
.be aware of the contexts and the assumptions.
.every speck in creation is a potential teacher.
.our perceptions and mental formations can inhibit genuine learning.
.learning is an attitude in humbleness.
.teachers persist in our lives until we learn what we have chosen to learn.Hence , we observe repetitive patterns recurring time and again.
.unlearning is a critical part of learning.
.the process of learning is joyful, a voyage in discovery ; not self-condemnatory or guilt-provoking.
.................and so much more.....

October 02, 2006

relating..conceptual or otherwise...

This post is triggered by various contemporary shares/discussions in blogspace.

Let us see what happens when 2 people connect.Each comes in with his/her own idealogy/value positionality and operates from there.Values are acquired concepts and do not come with any absoluteness.It is perfectly ok to find comfort in a set of values, but it is important to remember it's contextuality to our conditionings.

Sometimes, a cyclonic attraction overpowers 2 individuals and they share a lustful moment.Nothing wrong in that either as long as one is able to see it as it is.It is an addressal of a personal need and a happening in a moment where 2 individual needs synchronize in a shared space.

Where is love in all this context?

To me , it is a state beyond the realm of any conceptual positionalities as well as the realm of personal need.It is just a state of being that floods all in it's wake. Thus, it is not person or activity specific.It can express itself in myriad ways including the domain of physical and emotional intimacy.

While not degrading lustful desire or positionalities, love is total in it's acceptance of the other,not conditionally dependant on the presence or absence of certain activities, and a relating paradigm from our cores, the domain of the unchangeable as different from the domain of conditioned spaces.One can still relate in a need-based context but with an awareness and acceptance of our need as the driving force, rather than any masked image that comes forth.

when we operate out of this fountainhead, love is a happening, not a planned or a thought-activated enterprise.

an icon of integrity....

October 01, 2006

a lil bit of love....

some movies touch you...

Check out I like it a lot....

September 29, 2006

bhakti rasa...

was listening to an old Jagjit favourite from cry for CRY. was privileged to be a part of the production team on behalf of CRY...the lyrics and melody seem to grow on one...

Mujhme jo bhi achha hai sab uska hai,
Mera Jitna Charcha Hai sab uska hai..

Meri aankhen unki noor se roushan hai
maine jo bhi socha hai sab uska hai..

Maine jo kuch khoya tha sab uska tha
Maine jo kuch paaya hai sab uska hai

Jitni Baar main toota hoon, woh toota tha,
idhar udhar jo bikhra hai, sab uska hai...


Rivers have a special place in my life.They serve as a constant reminder that we never meet the same river twice.It is a dynamic in constant, perennial flow.Likewise, life, where, as Heraclitus mentioned, the only constant is change.With an underlying permanance which is our core of centredness, the canvas keeps shifting hues and shades...even when we meet or relate to people, serves us to remember that it is two dynamic entities connecting normally, unless one connects from the underlying core of oneness that binds us all...watching from that centre, our epicentre of awareness...

September 28, 2006


When they came to tell a man that his house had been carried away by the flood, he laughed and said, "impossible! I have the key to the house right here in my pocket!"

- anthony de mello

September 27, 2006

conflicts, intrinsic to the mind...

a poignant post on perspective inc's blog triggers this post...

when we encounter events, mundane or critical, more often than not, they are accompanied by a conflict.We are unable to decide and even if we do, a nagging doubt persists on whether we made the right choice. A sense of residual incompletion remains.

To me, it is intrinsic to operating withing the mind realms.The mind works on the principle of benchmarking and comparisons and is a very good faculty for our functional world expresses viz.writing a software programme, managing administrative nuances of life and relationships , so on and so forth.

But when it comes to aspects such as love, joy, happiness etc, the mind is hardly the faculty.Love and joy are not attributes of the mind, so to seek it in those realms qualifies as a failure of intelligence.One cannot plan or try to love or to be joyous. One just is.

And when one just is, there is an absence of conflict, defined as a spiritual state of being by seers.In this state, one is guided and operates from the heart, nay the mind. One uses the mind, one is not used by the mind.We are used by the mind when conditionings and mental formations guide the destiny of our lives.

When one operates out of the heart,it's intrinsic quality is joy and love.There is a sense of completion even in seemingly paradoxical situations.The heart does not see things as right and wrong, it just responds.Right and wrong are concepts born in the mind.

The heart is intrinsically integral, not conceptually so.

Spirituality to me is movement from the mind to the heart as the driver of our life.

We can manage situations cosmetically and symptomatically outside, but it will always be at the expense of joy.We have to focus on the "process" of conflict, not on the content.Irrespective of the content we chose,conflict and a lack of fulfilment remain.

We should focus not on content but rather on "seeing"....

being consumed....

This post was triggered by various contemporary shares/discussions in blogspace.

sometimes, a thought overpowers us to the exclusion of everything else; it consumes us day in and day out..we get stuck in it, paralysed, unable to move.It is like a cyclone within, disturbing our sense of calm and peace...we become irritable, snap at people and are unable to concentrate on anything...we lose control...

it could happen with an experience of fear,intense sexual desire, anger, lust for an object or just about anything...the thought grips our life, we come to a standstill...

we feel suffocated and yearn to release it through an indulgence in it's(the thought's) seeking...a mixture of helplessness and fear/guilt of abandonment grips us...we are paralysed...

The moment can be miserable when we see our lack of control...we fear losing ourselves in the process and often step back...

when we are consumed by a thought, it can often bridge us to the source of all that is, on account of it's focussedness.Being aware in such moments and allowing the storm to pass in acceptance rather than rejection or denial can lead us to the power and joy of "experiencing" as it is...a spiritual existential threshold...Normally , we tend to run away from such moments; escaping it's seeeming wrath in a host of activities, taking our mind off it, so to say...But just staying there and being in it can lead us to ecstactic domains of consciousness.Sometimes, one is blessed and nature disallows us to escape; we are just there and the miracle of experiencing cannot experience the river by waiting on the banks somewhere one has to trust it's flow and plunge into it's depths..

It is a moment of realization that thought is not our thought; it merely flows through us; we are not the source of it; we merely tune in to it in the band of universal consciousness...

September 24, 2006


i remember a friend's father complaining that though all his 3 sons were electrical engineers, he had to depend on an electrician to rectify the tubelight setting.

Sounds familar....?

It is a common observance.

I can never cease to wonder at the natural intelligence of electricians, carpenters, cobblers,automotive mechanics and so on...They do not seem limited by acquired knowledge systems and are able to tap into seeming intuitive realms.I remember an incident in Delhi when I was presenting to some senior technology experts at the DOE.(Dept of Electronics). It was a spiritual content presentation and I was using a VCR to assist me.I myself am armed with a degree in electronics.

As is very often the case,the cassette refused to play.Many heads attempted to address the issue, but of no avail.

It was then that my driver , Jaswant walked upto me and sought my permission to tinker with it.He played around the same for a few minutes and borrowed the head-rubber band a female member of our group was wearing.He replaced the belt on the cassette drive and lo and behold, the VCR functioned.

I have had occasion to observe such innumerable instances of a free flow intelligence at work as different from an organised acquired knowledge based approach.

There is a universal intelligence at play which we see as conventionally educated folk often fail to tap.An intuitive intelligence we can tune in to...

The intelligence which guides birds and animals towards food and prey; influence the cross-country migration of birds like the Siberian cranes, year-in year-out to south india; an intelligence which makes our digestive, excretory and reproductive systems work, with apparently no effort from our sides; the intelligence which enables our growth from infancy to old age......the list goes on...

if we pause to think, we do not aid many of the most essential happenings in our lives; they happen inspite of ourselves...

a throbbing, dynamic intelligence at work, a silent dynamo....the process we call life...


Little Mary was on the beach with her mom.

"mummy, may I play in the sand?"

"No, Darling. You'll only soil your clean clothes."

"May I wade in the water?"

"No, you'll get wet and catch a cold."

"May I play with the other children?"

"No, you'll get lost in the crowd."

"Mummy, buy me an icecream."

"No, it's bad for your throat."

Little Mary began to cry.

Mother turned around to a woman who was standing nearby and said, "For heaven's sake! Have you ever seen such a neurotic child?"

turn over a new leaf....

sometimes, phrases make me wonder at the perspective of the creator(of the phrase).take this one , for eg..turning over a new leaf...used to indicate a kind of transformative act...however, a new leaf on the tree is still very similar and fundamentally the same...maybe,"turning over a new leaf" is just symbolic and cosmetic within a set of given parameters.for a real transformative experience, the whole plant has to be new, not merely the leaf...a death of the old and a re-formation...rather than transformation...

September 23, 2006

Prayer to the Divine Mother..

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Mathru Rupena Samsthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Daya Rupena Samsthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Sakthi Rupena Samasthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Lakshmi Rupena Samasthitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha

Yaadevi Sarva Bhootheshu Budhi Rupena Samashtitha
Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namasthasyai Namo Nameha


September 22, 2006

vidya's rendevouz with simi...

read this fascinating excerpt in today's DNA.To be aired this Sunday on Star.

Simi: Do you feel you are the chosen one?
Vidya: When we want things to happen in a certain way and they don't, we think that's the end of the world. But I'm a diehard optimist. I believe that all happens for the best.

Simi: You spend a lot of time in the temple.
Vidya: We've always been taught to pray and to believe that there's a supernatural guiding force which is responsible for everything. But I don't think anyone from my family is much into it. They all pray for sure, even if it's on the bed. But I spend a lot of time.

Simi: What gives you such deep faith?
Vidya: I think it's a combination of what I have read and the experiences that people have had. I have seen great things happening to people. When you surrender, it's beautiful. You realise you're not the doer. I don't think any of us are doing anything. We're just playing out God's plan!

Simi: What type of a relationship do you have with God?
Vidya: I think the guy up there is in each one of us.

Simi: Do you talk to him?
Vidya: All the time! Prayer is a self-fulfilling process. When you genuinely want something, like Paulo Coelho said, 'The Universe conspires to get it for you'. Where there is doubt, it won't happen.

Simi: Has your faith ever wavered?
Vidya: Not much any longer. But there were times when I used to be a very badly behaved teenager! But somewhere faith took over and I've been calmer.

Stark Reality...

Killing time before time kills me...these words on a fellow blogger's profile hit me hard and direct. A very integral observation , I thought; and true for many of us, however much we may try to deny it. We do exist but hardly live. We go through the motions of life,inventing new articles and activities of occupation to manage our melancholy, boredom and meaninglessness.Each attempt at filling up this emptiness only seems to enhance the vacuum.We are afraid to die, hence continue living.

The words of a sufi poet come to mind...Yeh ilm ka sauda, yeh rishale , yeh kitabe...ik shaksh ki yaadon ko bulaane ke liye hai..guess we have to reconnect to the source from which we seem to have separated eons back..attempts to fill that gap is what we call life colloquially.

The death within, our stark reality.We try to be happy, try to love, try to live...pathetic...The words on the travelogue tell us that the sunrise in Kanyakumari has to be savoured,enjoyed...we try to live up to the words, our reality is very different.We are supposed to find enjoyment in a host of activities, but without an intrinsic capacity for joy , the most pleasureable of activities carry with them the seeds of abject misery.

Joy is not in an activity, it is intrinsic to being.Life is not about trying to live, it is in living...

these words happen even as i try to learn...oops, as I me, a reconnect to the source of all there is , is the need of the hour.

September 21, 2006

ride the donkey....

The mind is nothing but conditioning, beliefs, thoughts etc. They are making use of your life for their survival. A single thought, let us say a communist or a religious thought enters a young person, it can become like a bug in his mind and make use of his life for its survival. That is why we are against all beliefs. And we put you through a program to de-condition you, because when you get conditioned, a lot of ideas are put into you, lot of beliefs are put into you and these exactly live like a human being. One of the words used for these thoughts are – meems. When you observe, they say – me me, me me me. That’s how they continue. They fight for their survival. When you talk of war between countries, it is a war of ideas. It could be capitalism Vs. communism or anything for that matter. These are basically ideas fighting and they begin to rule over you. That is why we refer to the mind as a donkey. It is basically a donkey because there is no sense in these concepts. Hence you should ride over a donkey and not the other way round.

Once your heart is opened you very naturally are virtuous not because they were put into you as a concept. That’s why I maintain cultivated virtue is a horror because you want to do the opposite. All the time you are struggling, putting up an act and pretending to be something, which you are not. In due course it destroys you. It should be natural to you. Mind is good if you can make use of it. The mind has to be your servant and not your boss. But if it is going to make use of you, you are destroyed. That is what is happening to the unenlightened. In the case of the unenlightened person, the mind is the master. In the case of the enlightened person, the mind is his servant.

-Sri Bhagavan

September 20, 2006

Being with oneself...

this post is triggered by an interesting conversation I had with a couple of friends.With so many communication devices and routes as well as entertainment avenues, man hardly spends any quality time with himself in silent introspection.infact, getting moments free is a trauma for many as an activity-centric lifestyle is a surrogate time management route...keeping oneself busy is a way out of those nagging questions which may become burdensome...Activity, more often than not,is a device for sorrow management; a way out of boredom and meaninglessness for many of us.And we keep on hunting for fresh entertainment devices...

Careful observation of this management strategy makes me wonder whether forgetting leads to resolution.I daresay, no.It construes as a mere re-arrangement, a palliative remedy at the most, which tends to surface at the most inopportune moments.When it remains suppressed, it leads to chronic depressions, anxiety neurosis and the like.

Wounds cannot be healed by locking them up. They have to be opened up...

When we tend to escape it,the divine conspiracy that life is, it forces us towards fundamental questions through a manifest of crises which are events designed for our learning and evolution...we cannot forever escape the learnings that should finally reconnect us to the source of all there is....

September 17, 2006

Why the Buddha waits at heaven's gate?

Whatsoever you do, do it with deep alertness; then even small things become sacred. Then cooking or cleaning become sacred; they become worship. It is not a question of what you are doing, the question is how you are doing it. You can clean the floor like a robot, a mechanical thing; you have to clean it, so you clean it--then you miss something beautiful. Cleaning the floor could have been a great experience--you missed it; the floor is cleaned but something that could have happened within you has not happened. If you were aware, alert, not only the floor but you yourself would have felt a deep cleansing.

Clean the floor full of awareness, luminous with awareness. Work or sit or walk, but one thing has to be a continuous thread: make more and more moments of your life luminous with awareness. Let the candle of awareness burn in each moment, in each act. The cumulative effect is what enlightenment is. The cumulative effect, all the moments together, all small candles together, become a great source of light.

The story is that when Gautam Buddha died he reached the doors of paradise. Those doors rarely open, only once in a while, in centuries--visitors don't come every day, and whenever someone comes to those doors the whole of paradise celebrates it. One more conscious-ness has attained to flowering, and existence is far richer than it has ever been before.

The doors were opened, and the other enlightened people who had entered into paradise before... because in Buddhism there is no God, but these enlightened people are godly--so there are as many gods as enlightened people. They had all gathered at the door with music, with song and with dance. They wanted to welcome Gautam Buddha but to their amazement he was standing with his back to the gate. His face was still looking toward the far shore that he had left behind.

They said, "This is strange. For whom are you waiting?"
He's reported to have said, "My heart is not so small. I'm waiting for all those I have left behind who are struggling on the way. They are my fellow travelers. You can keep the doors closed--you will have to wait a little for the celebration of my entering into paradise, because I have decided to enter this door as the last man. When everybody else has become enlightened and entered the door, when there is nobody left outside, then my time will have come to enter."

This story is a story--it cannot be an actual fact. It is not within your hands; once you have become enlightened you will have to enter into the universal source of life. It is not a question of your choice or decision. But the story is that he is still trying, even after his death. This story arose out of what he had said he was going to do on the last day before his death--that he would wait for you all.

He cannot wait here any longer, he has already waited over his time. He should have been gone by now but, seeing your misery and your suffering, he somehow kept himself together. But it has become more and more impossible. He will have to leave you--reluctantly--but he will wait for you on the other shore; he will not enter paradise, it is a promise: "So don't forget that for you, I will be standing there for centuries. But hurry, don't let me down, and don't let me wait too long." ~Osho

seeing in integrity...

To see something integrally is to see it holistically and completely, either as the whole or as a part of the whole. Not to see it as apart from the whole. This seeing is freedom regardless of what you are seeing, or what the content is. The content could be a grain of sand, a fish, a thought, ego, anger, jealousy, etc; the freedom is in this seeing. There is acceptance, awareness, stillness of energy, and no wastage of energy. There is a clarity of thought and focus which translates into efficient functioning in the world.

To see integrally is to see that life is relationships. Hence in order for your life to flourish, your relationships must be in order.

- Ravi Krishnamurthy,

September 13, 2006

artistes alcove...

Artistes Alcove at the Arpan farm at Karjat....a regular hangout and hideout since the last 14 years for friend, aijaz's abode..

yesterday was amongst my last visits...the 110 acre farm has been sold and a resort is coming up...

so many beautiful memories...rain picnics, spiritual dialogues and debates, workshops for under-privileged kids, music mehfils, photo and video shoot sessions, people connects, .....the list is endless.

I am going to miss the place..aijaz is shifting to a closeby place ; the creation of yet another artistes alcove...

September 12, 2006

seeds of conditioning....

The telephone rang.Gaurav, all of 6 years, lifted it. His father beckoned silently to him; "do not indicate I am there"....

The same father, who otherwise extolled him the virtues of honesty.

Gaurav experienced a conflict...

he was learning about the fickleness of life and the concepts that come into play there.

the seeds of conflict sown would stay with him for life...


mind sets and images...

every human is unique.however, we are quick to associate images in accordance with our own mindsets.Thus, there is the spiritual kind, the NGO kind, the wild kind, so on and so forth...Are not these associations vastly unfounded? Every individual is a rare and unique combo space of attitudes and values and perceptions on various issues and warrants a personal explore in non-judgemental spaces if one has to know them really.How often do we give encounters in our life that opportunity....

September 11, 2006

let go...

This guy was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped, then grabbed at a branch and was hanging there. After an hour or so had passed he felt himself getting exhausted and looked up to the heavens and cried out: "God, help me, please, help me."
All of a sudden the clouds parted and a voice boomed out from on high. "Let Go!" said the voice.
The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, then said: "Is there anyone else up there?"

centenary of the first satyagraha...

It needed a Munnabhai to get Gandhiji back in contemporary consciousness...Today, the news channels are announcing the 100th anniversary of Gandhiji's famous South African episode which gave birth to "Satyagraha" , one of the most potent and effective tools of resistance and objection expression known to man.

Ironical that this date should coincide with a Sep 11 that has come to haunt many of our memories.

Violence within manifests as violence outside and each of us is a critical link in the creation of the world as we see it.

Maybe we need to remind ourselves more of a man who told us, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

Date Rapes : an increasing phenomenon...

Navratri is shortly arriving, a widely celebrated festival in recent times.Alcohol and drug abuse have seen a growth too leading to extensive abuses and violations.

A common phenomenon in the last couple of years has been the marked increase of "date rapes" where odourless and colourless additives are added to hard or soft drinks.These chemicals seem to create a cyclonic craving for sex, a passive resistance and leads to unforeseen trauma later.It happens to the most educated and intelligent amongst us and lot of unsuspecting people are caught in subsequent webs of trauma.

It is important for everyone , especially the youth to be aware of this syndrome when they visit pubs and other spots as part of their should never turn one's back to one's drink; or visit the rest room leaving a half-used glass behind for a continuation later.Always advisable to visit such events with very close and known friends and yet be on the alert.A lot of date rapes are known to have been perpetuated by close friends and known acquaintances.

To me, more than the physical act of sex, non-consensual sex is a blatant violation that can leave behind so many scars.It is a violation of the fundamental dignity of a person and can lead to a humiliated existence.Anger and resentment can affect future relationships and make one very vulnerable to hurt.I have seen and interacted with people who have been victims of this syndrome.

I would not suggest people to stop enjoying their parties and the like. To each their own in their entertainment and recreation choices; but please be on guard always.

The price one pays for a lack of alertness and awareness can be very high....

September 10, 2006

comments posting problem?

if you are encountering a "comments posting" problem here with your blogger account, please try posting as "other" in blogger comments identity space.Seems blogger is taking long to sort out its "commenting space" issues.
Thank You.

mystic moments...

love, to me, as i have encountered it's various hues and nuances of expression , has evolved into an underlying state of being, flooding all in it's wake..i no longer perceive it as person or activity specific, not even as an emotion...rather as a very fundamental aspect much like the fragrance of the rose, which is not spread by any effort; rather it is a happening, a state of just "being" rather than trying to "become" something or somebody.

One would still continue to have likes and preferences vis-a-vis activity and people-space shares; a state of love floods these spaces rather than love being stimulated through these encounters.Love enriches moments of our existence with a deep sense of fulfilment and underlying joy.It is an anchor which reduces our vulnerabilities wrought about by various dependencies to activities or people; thus it is not sustained by paradigms of fear and insecurity, rather it is a spontaneous celebration of life and it's offerings...

The discovery of love is indeed an eternal voyage, an eternal pigrimage...

simplicity, the essence of beauty...

when it comes to meeting and knowing celebs, I have led a very chequered life, it would seem.Some I have grown up with, some I have seen grow and others, I have had an opportunity to closely interact.One is witness to the struggle, the frustrations and so on before success decides to bless their efforts..

Observing these parallel universes has been a learning by itself for me...

A recent addition to this list has been Vidya Balan, the talk of the town after her performances in Parineeta and LRM...have had occasion to know her literally since she was born...a simple, straight forward person, whose sense of focussedness has been a revelation..single-minded determination to reach where she is now..yet retaining her humility and down-to-earthiness..prayer has been her forte, her anchor..had a recent encounter with her just before the release of LRM when she come to pray at our community celebrations of Ganeshutsav...very humbly, she wanted all of us to pray for her impending release...that we did...

am very glad for you, vidya and rather proud at your achievements..You have a long way to go..God Bless...

September 09, 2006

from my are love...

Beautiful perspective on love.....a state of being..

The Universe Loves You
By Jafree Ozwald & Margot Zaher

You are inherently lovable and have always been loved by the Universe. In fact, you are love itself. The problem is that most of us live under a false illusion that we just do something, or be somebody special to earn love and acceptance. We spend our lives trying to get peoples’ love and acceptance when love surrounds us and permeates every atom in this Universe. It's like we are fish in the ocean seeking, searching and thirsty for water. Once we just relax into this simple truth that love is here now, you feel loved by the Universe and know you are always taken care of.The great secret is relaxing into this knowingness completely.

"I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty." ~Kabir

Sometimes you might be thinking, “But I can't feel truly loved by anyone, how can I feel loved by the Universe?”If you don’t feel the warmth and love from this divine Universe, then you are the one who is blocking out love.It is the armor around your heart that is protecting you from getting hurt again.So with these emotional shields it can be challenging to feel the loving energy that naturally surrounds us.The greatest thing is that the Universe will do everything to help you pull your walls down.It will create heart opening situations that will penetrate your shields and eventually cause them to melt completely. The key is to remain open and receptive to allowing this to happen.

One of most amazing things about the Universe is that it is always a perfect flawless mirror for what is happening inside you.Meaning that whatever energy you send out is exactly what you will feel coming back to you.When you send out kindness and patience to others, you'll experience people treating you with more understanding, gentleness and patience. Now this flawless mirror can be a blessing or a curse, depending on what you are habitually focusing upon and vibrationally sending out. If you are in the habit of sending out fear, desperation, or those "poor me" victim feelings, then you are truly wasting your time and missing the greatest opportunity of your lifetime! This is to experience yourself as a truly divine lovable human being who is the source of love and is constantly FEELING loved by the Universe!

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved." ~George Sand

The good news is that even when you do send out negative vibrations, the Universe still loves and supports you. In these moments when your mind is clogged with negativity, you may just not be able to feel this gentle supporting love that is all around you. When you are focusing on fear or negativity, you are in essence wearing dark glasses that shield the rays of love and light from the Universe. However, you can choose at any moment to take off your glasses and see the greatest truth and essence of your being. That you are lovable, and the source of love! Every moment holds the opportunity for you to recognize the Divine loveable being that you are, perfect just as you are in every way.

The following is an experience told by Margot:

One day about 7 years ago, I walked into my neighborhood grocery store in a very bad mood. The day had been full of misadventures and mishap. Anyway, I had only one thing to buy and had to stand in line for a very long time. I kept thinking, “These people are all selfish. They haven’t even offered to let me go ahead of them.” As I approached the cash register I thought, “Boy, the cashiers who work here are not very nice. They didn’t even smile at me.” As I left the store, I thought, “I don’t really like this store. Everybody is just so shut down and unfriendly.”

"Love is like a mountain, hard to climb, but once you get to the top the view is beautiful." ~Daniel Monroe Tuttle

A few days later, I returned to the same grocery store. This day, however, I walked into the store in a really positive uplifted mood. I thought, “It’s so great just to be alive.” My experience in the store was radically different. While I still stood in line for a very long time, I decided to make friends with the people in line. I chatted back and forth with them, and thought to myself, “Everybody is so friendly in this store.” In fact, I even made a new friend that day standing in line, and we promptly did something together that very same day. As I arrived at the checkout counter, I was greeted by the same cashier. However, this time I saw the smile on her face, and heard the warmth in her greeting for I had taken of my dark glasses and could see the love around me. I have had many direct experiences of both feeling and not feeling loved by the Universe. It is very evident that my attitude directly impacts my ability to perceive and feel love and support.

So remember that you can feel how much the entire Universe loves you by just shifting your energy and taking off any dark glasses you may be wearing. The more you open up to the natural love of the Universe, the more you see how the whole Universe is truly supporting you and sending you what you need to manifest your dreams.

first bloom...

I do not know how it feels to have a baby...but i guess this comes close...the first bloom in a pot in my terrace garden...a moment of very great joy...

September 08, 2006

self rejection...

Blogs and chat spaces have become prolific platforms for human interaction.It also has enabled a lot of "brushed under the carpet" spaces getting released into the bank of human consciousness; a necessity, in my opinion.It is an often observed pattern that we are able to be ourselves more in the garb of anonymity. Association with an identity brings to fore image and other associations which we seek security in.And rightly so, because our connects and relationships in realtime are very rarely unconditional and all accepting.We relate to our concept of the other, rather than to the other, and when there is a digression in realtime away from this projection, the relationship suffers, whcih more often than not is an unacceptable situation.

to me, it all begins with our inability to accept ourselves as we are.Our lack of acceptance of ourselves projects itself in spaces outside.We are uncomfortable in being the people we are.Self-rejection manifests manifold in our external relationships.

when we are accepting of ourselves, others are able to accept us better....
easier said than done,

i have seen jhalaks of this paradigm at work in my i am still exploring it...

September 07, 2006


"This world has to be loved, this world has to be respected, this world has to be your temple, your mosque your church. This world has to be your gratefulness, your gratitude. Enlightenment is not something of another world. Enlightenment happens now and here."

- Osho

September 06, 2006

in the ghetto...and in paradise...

As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago morning
A poor little baby child is born in the ghetto
And his mama cries
cause if theres one thing that she dont need
Its another hungry mouth to feed in the ghetto
People, dont you understand
The child needs a helping hand
Or he’ll grow to be an angry young man some day

Take a look at you and me
Are we too blind to see
Do we simply turn our heads and look the other way

Well the world turns
And a hungry little boy with a runny nose plays in the street
As the cold wind blows in the ghetto

And his hunger burns
So he starts to roam the streets at night
And he learns how to steal and he learns how to fight in the ghetto

Then one night in desperation
A young man breaks away
He buys a gun, steals a car, tries to run, but he don't get far

And his mama cries
As a crowd gathers round an angry young man
Face down on the street with a gun in his hand in the ghetto

As her young man dies,
On a cold and gray chicago morning,
Another little baby child is born in the ghetto

– “In the ghetto” by Elvis Presley

She calls out to the man on the street
"Sir, can you help me?
It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?"

He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, it's another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she's been crying
She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
Can't walk but she's trying

Oh think twice...

Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that she's been there
Probably been moved on from every place
'Cos she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice...

-Phil Collins

Ganpati Bappa Morya...

Today is the visarjan day in Mumbai ...


1,20,228 lac Ganesh idols;

43,000 security personnel;

50,000 volunteers...

- source: midday

and this is Mumbai's pride : Lalbaugcharaja , over 40 feet in height :

Ganpati Bappa Morya...

a criminal is born...

Raju hurried out of the hospital.The conversation with the doctor had shattered him.His mother could survive but she needed a surgery which would cost over 2.5 lacs.With his job as a helper in a private company and her savings as a maid servant with over 25 years experience, he had managed to buy a slum house for himself in Mumbai.It was all of their life-savings that went into the project.

And now , this crisis. His mom was not very old; 56 years.And he wanted to do his best for her. All his options to get a loan were exhausted too.

The conflict raged on as he was suddenly swarmed by the cacaphony of a brass band playing the latest movie tunes.A marriage baraat was on it's way.People were decked from head to feet in gold and silver.

The sight was blinding.

A thought crossed Raju's mind.A single necklace could help solve his problems and give his mother a fresh lease of life.

The thought overpowered him. Fear was thrown to the winds...
And he snatched a necklace off a lady's neck and vanished into the crowd.

A criminal was born....a routine happening...


Commitment, is an oft-discussed topic in contemporary blogspace.

commitment, imo, is a conceptual adherence to a projected ideal, which remains elusive.Fulfilment in connectedness is not a faculty of the mind, an intrinsic attribute of which , on close observance, is discontent.Moot point , to me, when we relate is whether we are relating to the concept of the other or to the other…for relationships to be fulfilling, a spontaneous sense of connectedness is the key in acceptance of oneself and the other.

In this non-judgemental space, where one is centered within, one relates.

Fear is rooted in the concept of the “self” which strives to protect a cultivated image of itself, a mirage.We relate when we just are, a privilege we experience in some spaces; when we strive to become something to suit the other, it becomes and remains an incessant struggle.

In colloquial relating, more often than not, our relationships are sustained by the “other’s need for us” and we struggle to keep up this equation.Our sense of security emerges in the feeling of being “needed”.

And when it comes to relating in intimate spaces, each of us comes in with a projection of what it should be like and strive to live up to it, again a conceptual adherence..we relate to our concept of love, rather than to the other..and few concepts stand up to a reality check…what we are is a far cry from what we see ourselves to be…

September 05, 2006


have been impressed with both of Madhur Bhandarkar's offerings in last few years...first Page 3 and now

..Bringing alive an accepted paradigm of the day, an aspect to which most of us have got immunised, is a great achievement... a reminder perhaps to harsh everyday symptoms of a de-sensitized existence manifesting in all aspects of our lives.

a lot of us may find parallel episodes we have encountered in our daily grinds...every moment is a moment of choices or a lack of the end of the day we need to be integral to ourselves to stay not just alive, but to live well...

father of natural farming...

Yesterday's article in the TOI about Bhaskar Save receiving a honour for his waste and dryland development efforts gladdened me no end.

Amongst the people who have made a significant impact in my life, Fukuoka and Bhaskar Save stand out. Fukuoka's book , One Straw Revolution and my subsequent meet with him re-oriented my perceptions tremendously.Bhaskar Save, I have been privileged to meet up more often during various interfaces inclusive of visits to his farm near Mumbai.The natural and intuitive intelligence of the man amazes me each time.

To me, he represents a key development space alternative with large scale impacts in areas of mass healthy chemical free food production at very low cost and environmental sustenance deliverables at amazing levels( i have seen or heard of no other strategy where water table increases so abundantly and so rapidly).A gateway to a dignified lifestyle for the teeming millions of our country who struggle with poverty and malnutrition issues.

Would such developmental initiatives see the light of day? I am definitely hopeful...


The rain was battering incessantly outside. The storm water drains were overflowing and it seemed that all of nature was roaring in anger.

Latika stood at the window pane observing the torrent. The turmoil in her inner world seemed no less. It was a tornado. Her world seemed to have come to a standstill.

The events of the past few months flitted before her.

Everything seemed to be flowing smoothly. She had a dream job after completing her Masters in Business Administration. Her ample company quarters in upmarket Mumbai enabled her to bring down her parents from Bangalore to stay with her. Being a lone child, her parents, peers et all applied constant pressure for her to get married and she had finally succumbed. She went in for an arranged marriage with Ashok, after the mandatory matching of horoscopes.

Ashok seemed a great sort in the time she had known him, an extension of her dream manifests. He was very comfortable with her supporting her parents and gave her, her own space, something she cherished deeply. He was caring and valued their shared space.

It all seemed so beautiful until…

Sep 5, 2005. Her mobile ring sought her attention. She was expecting Ashok’s call from the airport on his way back from Delhi. It was his mobile number, but the voice was different. In hurried tones, the voice informed her that Ashok had met with an accident enroute to Delhi airport and lost his life.

Latika’s life came to a standstill……Though marriage was one “aspect” of her life; everything seemed to have got shattered. The fact that she was a successful and respected professional with a wide network of friends and acquaintances hardly mattered.

A constant question plagued her…Why did this have to happen to me?

Resentment, frustration, anger…the list was endless...

And much of her resentment was directed at her parents at whose insistence she went in reluctantly for an arranged marriage. The astrologer was nowhere to be seen. She saw herself as a modern woman who had carved a niche for herself, taking charge of her life in all aspects..well, almost, she thought. She had left the decision of her marriage to her parents and accepted their abilities and discretions in the matter. And now, this had to happen after they had convinced her of the infalliability of astrology and their astrologer.

While she knew they did what they felt to be best for her, she found it difficult to forgive them, making them responsible for her situation.

She was paralyzed into inaction…

Until it dawned on her that she had chosen it thus….and she had to accept responsibility, not shy away from it….The clouds cleared outside and sunlight flooded her portico.

She felt a deep sense of compassion for her parents , understanding their own sense of loss and pain.Her own resentment had added to their suffering.

She moved on….

A very happy, joyous,love-filled and colourful ONAM to all of you...


When we share spaces with anyone, irrespective of the activity in q, an underlying sense of mutual respect is imperative for a sense of connectedness.More than listening to the other person, it is important, we listen to ourselves, our inner mind chatter in the course of a conversation/interaction.Being aware at a moment of conversation enables the dawning of respect in the interaction.

A moment of awareness is a moment of integrity and it is only in integrity that one can really relate.To relate thus, away from masked interfaces, imo, is a fundamental human need.It is a naturally healing space in connectedness and in an unconscious recognition of the oneness of all that is, a dissolution of separatedness.

September 04, 2006

awareness is being....

"It is not a matter of becoming, but of Being. Remain aware of yourself and all else will be known. The Self is all-pervading"

~Ramana Maharishi


Like an autumn tree
That sheds all its leaves,
When the mind
Stands denuded and empty
Of all its fluttering leaves
Of desires and dreams,
It becomes ready
To receive the heavenly showers...
- Dada Gawand

September 02, 2006

daring theme..

It is not often one observes Bollywood directors toy around with controversial plots especially with leading men and women involved in the starcast. kudos to KJ for achieving this with KANK.
An integral presentation..
I wonder what the sequel would be like if there were one..would SRK and RM be able to sustain their "love" or whatever it is , I wonder...Boredom and monotony would tend to set any other situation....yet another "samjhauta" - a compromise, it would seem...
Love is a state of being rather than a sharing of activities or spaces between 2 beings as it is made out to be.When one is in a state of love, one floods spaces that one shares with the would still "like" certain spaces better...
when people are happy they spread happiness; when people are in a state of love they spread the same....imo,it is not person or activity specific... love transcends.... a spiritual state of being....

August 31, 2006

a laugh...

Did you hear about the yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth. When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine, the yogi said "No. I can transcend dental medication."

August 24, 2006


a friend recently posed a question....are you comfortable with being the person you are and can you look back at the events in your life with a degree of acceptance and comfort...
just set me exploring a bit...
we show different sides of ourselves to different people and various perceptions come together and reach a kind of agreement as to my identity.there are certain associations people might make when relating to me.I could be all of that , more or none of it..We do exist in the context of the other in mind spaces.
I am what I am, i may or may not be what you think I am...a perception , a filter comes into play when we view each effect we relate to images of the other we have created within ourselves rather than to the other...The experience of the other is totally within us...
so it is with events we go through...we evaluate them , judge them...whereas experiencing is an end by itself...a complete event...evaluation and judgement inhibit our abilities to experience.
There was a time when I used to judge myself and consequently others very harshly against projected ideals and benchmarks of acceptable norms and behaviours.
Today, I see a difference. My ability to accept myself for whatever I am as well as to accept others is much greater.
episodes in life have had various hues...from the embarassing to the frustrating to the pleasant, the humiliating, the threatening, the life-shattering and so on. Successes co-exist with failures and crash-landings...just as praises co-exist with condemnation...
But they are a reality i cannot deny...neither can i erase them...i have survived through them and there is a kind of comfortable co-existence in acceptance..a few people have in the past evinced surprise at certain open sharings I have done in this very blogspace.I am not ashamed or uncomfortable with various expereinces I have had which would qualify as first person integral spaces that have evolved in awareness.
It is also true that I may not share all with due respect to people who have occured and are occuring in my life....and shared spaces more often than not involve interpretation and judgement actual realtime experience with it's infinite permutations and possibilities is very different from any perception of the same...hence discretion is often demanded , albeit with integrity in awareness...To me, every space i have shared in any context is sacred and i respect and thank every individual I have encountered in my life, some in great friendships, others in violent differences and disagreements, yet others in a casual acquaintanceship...each interface has contributed towards my identity as of this moment as it continues to do so...a process evolving on its own as well as in a synergetic confluence of my interaction with spaces, people and things.
and creating, moment by moment, this awesome process we term as "life"......

August 22, 2006


When we re-orient our perceptions or choose an alternate concept, are we not merely rearranging ourselves cosmetically. Genuine freedom is an inner state of being independent of circumstances.It is not a repositioning or a changing of circumstances which at most gives temporal relief; it is rather a "happening" within. In true freedom, there is no choice....we just are in flow....the way we are...
In search of freedom and happiness
Man invents excitements and escapes.
Are freedom and happiness
Cultivated attitudes of mind ?
Or are they the outcome of internal being
Unrelated to mind?
- Dada Gawand

August 20, 2006


"Who gives will receive.
Who forgives will be forgiven.
Who dies will be reborn."

-St. Francis of Assisi

August 18, 2006


Just remain in the center, watching then forget that you are there.
- Lao Tzu

August 14, 2006

Deekshas and the hormones of joy -Christian Opitz,neurophysicist

Christian Opitz is a neurophysicist, biochemist, herbalist and author. He has developed a new paradigm of healing called Radiant Life that combines whole brain functioning, raw food nutrition, exercise and nature awareness. Christian has taught in Europe and the United States for the past 15 years.
An excerpt from his observations on deeksha processes offered at The Oneness University...

Until now, I mostly emphasized the effect of diksha on various brain centers in my writings. An equally important aspect of the process of awakening the brain is the change in hormone and neurotransmitter production. I would like to give an overview of some of the significant changes in regards to hormones and neurotransmitters that I have found in people who have been receiving diksha for a while. First, let's take a look at some of the important neurochemicals and their effect on our experience of life: DOPAMINE: Produced in the substantia nigra in the mid-brain, this important neurotransmitter is almost always out of balance in modern people. We need sufficient dopamine to feel alive, vibrant, to be able to concentrate and have good discernment. Lack of dopamine leads to boredom, depression, brain fog, one merely exists but is not truly alive. This in turn leads to cravings for dopamine stimulation, mostly through destructive means. Intense but short-lived dopamine stimulants are, for example, cocaine, amphetamines, junk food, aggressive behaviors and conflicts with other people. Those suffering from ADD are restless and often have hyper-aggressive tendencies because they are desperately trying to stimulate some dopamine production. Too much dopamine at once leads to a dulling of the dopamine receptors and that in turn has undesirable consequences. Delusions, including hallucinations that are mistaken for genuine mystical experiences, often go together with prolonged overproduction of dopamine. People addicted to computer games have similar dopamine imbalances, which shows an interesting correlation between the addictions to virtual realities, whether on a computer screen or on the screen of one's own mind. In some people, excessive dopamine can lead to stuttering. People who stutter usually have twice as much dopamine in their system than average people. It is easy to see that for a balanced spiritual awakening, we want a consistent level of dopamine without the detrimental effects of extreme highs and lows. A consistent dopamine production goes hand in hand with awakened frontal lobes, which Bhagavan associates with God-Realization. Given the fact that dopamine is essential to feel truly alive, it makes sense that we need it to also feel the Source of all life, OXYTOCIN Oxytocin is the hormone of love, open-heartedness and gratitude. Happily married people produce more oxytocin, but relationship stress severely decreases it. Oxytocin is the neuro-chemical foundation for compassion, for truly caring for others. When we care for others, we ourselves are rewarded many times over, because oxytocin regenerates the body and induces a very deep sense of well- being. Love is great health insurance because of oxytocin. Indifference and cruelty are accompanied by very low levels of this hormone. I assume that these biochemical facts are one of the reasons behind Bhagavan's emphasis on setting right relationships. The production of oxytocin is severely hindered in most people today and this often starts at birth. In the late 1940s, medicine began to use drugs at birth as if it were some kind of disease. Among those drugs, petocin (synthetic oxytocin) is used to induce contractions and thus birth, on the hospital's schedule instead of following the natural interaction between baby and mother. Whenever we receive a huge dose of a synthetic version of a hormone, our receptors are overwhelmed and the body's own production can be compromised. If this happens at birth, there can be permanent damage and a life-long pattern of producing too little oxytocin. It does not help much that the most important bonding phase between mother and child right after birth has become a medical procedure of taking blood, measuring the baby, cutting the umbilical cord too early and not allowing the baby a direct bonding with the mother and thus a gentle entrance into this world. The combination of petocin and the lack of empathy for the newborn baby in medicalized birth procedures are almost certain to severely compromise oxytocin production. It is interesting to note that heavy drug use at birth, from petocin to pain killers to even some psychedelic substances that are no longer used, was introduced after WWII. When the first generation of babies who came into this world on drugs had arrived at young adulthood in the 1960s, they where the first generation to seek a deeper meaning of life through drugs. I believe the lack of natural oxytocin caused by drug use at the entrance into life can set up a strong recapitulation pattern of seeking life through drugs. CORTISOL: The opposite of oxytocin, in terms of effects on our life experience, is cortisol, the stress and death hormone. We need cortisol in life-threatening situations, but, as Dr. Hans Selye discovered, we tend to overproduce it much of the time when there is no threat to survival in sight. On cortisol, all of life takes on the quality of struggle, including relationships and even the spiritual search. Cortisol activates the parietal lobes, which are supposed to give us a sense of our physical boundaries. When overactive, this sense of physical separateness is extended to our general experience of ourselves and we then feel existentially separate. This is at least part of the reason why Bhagavan emphasizes the deactivation of the parietal lobes. Cortisol makes us walk around with chronically over-activated parietal lobes. In that state, we are not able to feel our feelings fully, to embrace ourselves as we are. Being in the here and now, being in the flow, requires abundant oxytocin, sufficient dopamine and low levels of cortisol.
THE EFFECTS OF DIKSHA: Although it is very difficult to measure hormones and neurotransmitters in the brain directly, electromagnetic signature testing allows for some conclusions about the effects of diksha in this regard. One of the main effects I have found with people who have been receiving diksha for a year or longer is a regeneration of receptors for both dopamine and oxytocin. This automatically leads to greater efficiency of these neurochemicals and a decrease in cortisol production. Diksha can also regenerate the substantia nigra, where dopamine is produced, and this directly shows up in changed electromagnetic brain patterns. Many times I have observed a natural release of addictive patterns through diksha that were clearly related to low dopamine levels. Another interesting parameter is the electromagnetic communication between the brain and the heart. This seems to progressively get stronger in people through diksha and is one of the most important energetic correlations of the flowering of the heart and true compassion. In some of the Dasas and in Ron Roth, this connection was off the charts when I measured them. Oxytocin is the biochemical bridge between the brain and heart. From the data I have gathered so far, diksha seems to be effective in strongly enhancing oxytocin in the vast majority of people. I also believe that this is one of the aspects of birth trauma that can be healed through diksha and that this effect makes diksha so worthwhile for children. Even though children are not supposed to enter into an enlightenment process, growing up with lots of oxytocin will give them a much more beautiful life experience. Finally, the neuro-chemical effects of diksha are one reason why other methods people utilize for inner transformation can become so much more effective when people receive diksha. If someone does not need meditation anymore to lower cortisol, meditation can go to much deeper levels right away. If emotional or physical healing work is done on a person who already has high levels of oxytocin, the receptivity to receive healing is enhanced. The synergy of diksha with specific methods of inner transformation is a fascinating subject for more exploration and the role of neurochemicals is essential for the effects such synergies produce.