August 30, 2005
August 26, 2005
To get into "experiencing" , it is essential to be aware of our mindspeak as we "see".
In everyday life, we would like some , we may not like some.That is our "perception" and it is fine, but we have to be aware of it as a "perception".
August 24, 2005
My understanding is thus....
Concepts abound in the universe. As many people, so many concepts.Some may appeal to us, some don't....
We naturally find a comfort zone in different concepts, dependant on so many parameters.
For me, the difference is in the ability to really experience and to be alive to our truths.
For me , The Oneness University has facilitated this.
It has opened my eyes to the fact that real "experiencing" is our natural state of being. And enabled my journey towards the ability to "experience" in realms beyond my conditioned mind.
i dont think i am still "there" all the time. But I have had moments of rare insights and "experience", very mystical. No judgements, no labels, just pure , unadulterated "experience".
And my observations around the university have shown the vast diversity of ideas and concepts..different emergences...but a common thread, of integrity and oneness...an acceptance of the fact that someone can have a total divergence of view and yet be right from his "perspective". When we see everything as a concept,dependent on assumptions and frame of reference, paradoxes rest at peace.
One day, my four-year-old son, Sam, told me that he had seen his baby-sitter crying because she had broken up with her boyfriend. "She was sad," Sam explained to me. Then he sat back in his car seat and sighed. "I've never been sad," he said, dreamily, "Not ever." It was true. Sam's life was happy in no small part because of his special relationship with my father. Last spring my father died, and everything changed for us. Pa Hood was more than just a grandfather to Sam. As Sam eagerly told everyone, they were best buddies. Long before my father became ill, Sam and I watched the movie Anne of Green Gables. In the scene when Anne wished aloud for a bosom friend, Sam sat straight up. "That's me and Pa," he declared. "Bosom friends forever and ever." My father described their relationship the same way. When I went out of town to teach one night a week, it was Pa in his red picku p truck who met Sam at school and brought him back to his house, where they played pirates and knights and Robin Hood. They even dressed alike: pocket T-shirts, baseball caps, and jeans. Sam had over nights with Pa, where they'd cuddle until late at night and giggle when my mother ordered them to be quiet and go to sleep. The next morning they'd indulge in sugary cereals and cartoons, treats forbidden at home. They had special restaurants they frequented, playgrounds where they were regulars, and toy stores where Pa allowed Sam to race up and down the aisles on motorized cars. When I'd arrive to take Sam home, he always cried. "Pa, I love you. I miss you already!" He memorized my father's phone number when he was 2 and called him every morning and every night. "Pa," Sam would ask, clutching the phone, "can I call you ten hundred more times?" Pa always said yes, and then answered the phone each time with equal delight. In the months that my father was in the hospital with lung cancer, I worried about how Sam would react to Pa's condition the bruises, from needles, the oxygen tubes, his weakened body. When I explained to Sam that seeing Pa so sick might scare him, Sam was surprised. "He's my Pa," he said. "He could never scare me." And he never did. Sam would walk into the hospital room and climb right into bed with my father, undaunted by the changes in Pa's appearance or in the increasing amount of medical apparatus he acquired every day. I watched adults approach the bedside with great trepidation, unsure of what to say or do. But Sam seemed to know exactly what was right: hugs and jokes, just as always. "Are you coming home soon?" he'd ask. "I'm trying," Pa would tell him. Since my father's death, I have kept my overwhelming sadness at bay. When well-meaning people approach me to ask how I'm doing, their brows furrowed in sympathy, I give them a short answer and swiftly change the subject. I'd rather not confront the questions and the feelings that my dad's death has raised. But Sam is different. He thinks that wondering aloud and sorting out together is the best way to understand. "So," he says, settling into his car seat, "Pa's in space, right?" Or loudly in church, where he points upward to the stained-glass window: Is one of those angels Pa?" Right after my father died, I told Sam he was in heaven. "Where's heaven?" Sam asked. "No one knows exactly," I said, "but lots of people think it's in the sky." Sam thought about that and then shook his head. "No," he said, "it's very far away. Near Cambodia." "When you die," he said on another afternoon, "you disappear, right? And when you faint, you only disappear a little. Right?" Each time he offers one of these possibilities he waits for me to confirm i t as true. He is sorting out the things he's certain of and the things he's trying to understand. I think his questions are good. The part I have trouble dealing with is what he always does after he asks: He looks me right in the eye with more hope than I can stand and waits for my approval or correction or wisdom. But in this matter, my own fear and ignorance are so large that I grow dumb in the face of his innocence. The truth is, I have no answer to the question we struggle hardest with: How can we find a way to be with my father when we don't know where or even if he is? Remembering Sam's approach to my father's illness, I began to watch his approach to grief. At night, he would press his face against his bedroom window and cry, calling out into the darkness, "Pa, Pa, I love you! Sweet dreams!" Then, after his crying stopped, he would climb into bed, drained but satisfied somehow, and sleep. I, on the other hand, would wander the house all night, not knowing how to mourn. One day, in the supermarket parking lot, I caught sight of a red truck like my father's; for an instant I forgot he had died. My heart leaped as I thought, Dad's here shopping too! Then I remembered, and I succumbed to an onslaught of tears. Sam climbed into the front seat, jamming himself onto my lap between me and the steering wheel. "I know," he soothed, wiping my wet cheeks. "You miss Pa, don't you?" I managed to nod. "Me too," he said. "But you have to believe he's with us, Mommy. Watching and loving us. You have to believe that, or what will we ever do?" Too young to attach to a particular ideology, Sam had simply decided that the only way to deal with grief and loss was to believe that death does not really separate us from those we love. I couldn't show him heaven on a map or explain the course a soul might travel. But he found his own way to cope. I can't honestly say that I've fully accepted my father's death, even all these months later. But my son has taught me a lot about how to grieve. Recently, while I was cooking dinner, Sam sat by himself at the kitchen table and quietly colored in his Spiderman coloring book. "I love you too," he said. I laughed and turned to face him. "No," I told him. "You say, 'I love you too only after someone says, 'I love you first." "I know that," Sam said. "Pa just said 'I love you, Sam' and I said 'I love you too. " As he spoke, he kept coloring and smiling. "Pa just talked to you?" I asked. "Oh, Mommy," Sam said, "he tells me he loves me every day. He tells you too. You're just not listening." Again, I have begun to take Sam's lead. I have begun to listen.
August 21, 2005
A few months back, when I was enjoying "impediments" or blocks in key functional areas of my life, I just decided to give it a try. Inspite of my best efforts, an unseen wall used to block progress in key areas of my life.
We have institutionalised the way we have to behave. All of us make the courtesy " How are you...." call on people. How many of us actually mean it? Or listen to the reply of the person. Plastic smiles and gestures abound. The stench of death within suffocates us.
As the famed red - Indian chief mentioned in his immortal speech, "The end of living and the beginning of survival...."
I remember being told of an event at my university. A group of villagers had come to my master to seek help regarding the chronic drought situation in their village and around it. My master gave them a patient hearing and just told them, "Stop beating and ill-treating your womenfolk in your state of drunkenness. Everything would change."
They went back and did it and lo and behold, it started raining in their village.
We are normally dead; unaware and unconscious of our deeds and their impacts.
No action, word or deed of ours ever goes unrewarded. It is infalliable.
Any activity howsoever mundane can be lifted to great heights by the state of the performer.
It is attitude which "energizes" action.
Posted by Sundar at Sunday, August 21, 2005
August 20, 2005
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter,Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings, at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,right up to the end of the prayer:"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from e-mail. Amen."
Author - Marianne Williamson
August 19, 2005
- In-dividual - one who is not divided inside.
- Dis-ease - never saw that word that way before.
- In true freedom, there is no choice.
- In total surrender and acceptance lies our freedom.
- Deep down, every human knows he is nobody and nothing, he is only trying to be someone and something.
- The intrinsic "nature" of all "experience" is bliss.It is not dependant on the "content" of the experience ; it is rather dependant on the "process" of "experiencing".
- At the core of every human being today, there is only a collection of hurts and pain.
- Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
- The edifice of all human achievement is born in trauma.
- Events are not the "cause" of "suffering".The "suffering" within us "manifests" as "events" in our individual universes.
- No projected "ideal" has ever borne fruit.
- Life is Relationships.
- The "purpose" of life is to "live".
- Sufi Wisdom :Love is to stand before your Beloved, striped naked of all attributes, so that His qualities become your qualities.
- When you think outside the box, the box goes away.
Richard R. Reisman
- Colloquial love - He needs her need of him; she needs his need of her.
- When a candle is brought into a dark room, darkness moves away. Darkness is not"removed" by effort.It is an outcome of the candle-flame's entry. Similarly, awareness is freedom. It is not a means to "freedom".The dawn of awareness is the dissolution of ignorance. It is not the "path" to a "goal". It is the "goal".
- For one who wants to directly experience the "path", the normal mind is the path. What is meant by the "normal mind?" It is the mind that is free from construction and production, right and wrong, clinging and rejection, ordinary and saint. It is your everyday walking, standing, sitting and lying down, ypur personal encounters and contacts with things, which are entirely just this path.- Ma tsu Tao.
- "He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever." - Chinese Proverb
- Paradoxes rest at peace with each other as the frame of reference changes.East, west, north and south are within the context of planet earth. They disappear as we move higher away from the earth.
- There are no truths, only perceptions. "Facts" exist, however.
- Your thoughts are not your thoughts; your mind is not your mind; your body is not your body; your "self" is only a concept..
- Simplicity is a quality of “facts”.
August 18, 2005
And what is our routine "response"?
Response 1: We go backwards and "focus" on the cause of the pain.It could be a person.We see the person as the "cause" of our situation and rant and rave about them., either directly or indirectly.We dissipate our energies without any discernible outcomes.
Response 2:We travel ahead in our thoughts and focus on a "projected" solution to the event.Again, no movement in our status.
In either of the above, we are absent in the "moment", we are either behind or ahead.
The "reality" of the moment is "pain".Pure and unadulterated by our perceptions.
It is just raw pain.
The "key" is to just see it as it is.No justifications, no accusations, no projections.
Just "be" there."
"Experience" the pain totally.
In one of my greatest breakthroughs through Grace, I discovered that "The intrinsic nature of all "experience" is bliss".It does not depend upon the "content" of the experience.The "process" of "experiencing" in itself is "bliss".
The result is a "dissolution" of the suffering connected to the problem or the "emergence" of a solution.
Inner world aspects demand "active passivity" of approach."Effort" does not work here.
The outer world , however needs "effort" in addition to intent.
Thus, if we have lost a job which is causing us pain, we have to use the technique above for our inner world response to the situtaion.The outer world demands that we keep "trying" for fresh opportunities.
Careful observation shows us a great key in understanding pain.Pain, by itself is the same.It does not depend on its causal factors except in matters of intensity of expression.One cannot in essence differentiate between the pain caused by a heartbreak and the pain caused by a financial crisis.
The pain is intrinsic to us; it manifests through the catalyst of an external event.The event is not the "cause" of the pain; it is a medium of expression of pain which is intrinsic to us.
The pain is a constant within us.When we feel we have got a release from something, it merely means that it has changed its manifestation.Thus, we may be in the throes of a relationship crisis, causing unbearable stress to us.After a while, it metamorphoses into a migraine or a sinusitis inflammation.Thus psychological pain converts to physical pain which is more "manageable".
The sum total of the various aspects of pain remains a constant at all times.
Three kinds of pain essentially manifest in our lives; physical pain, psychological pain and spiritual pain. Generations and lifetimes of "sorrow management" techniques have ensured that most of us are very rarely in touch with our spiritual pain."Boredom", "meaninglessness", "seeking a sense of purpose"; these aspects manifest sometimes.But we generally drown it in our activity centred escapades.
To be in "touch" with our spiritual suffering, in my opinion is amongst the rarest of rarest of spiritual blessings.
Being in touch with pain is the bridge to "liberation" from pain fundamentally, not a transit across its various manifestations.
All of today's technology and applied science is based fundamentally on the "concept" of "zero".The first 2 postulates of mathematics empirically defining "zero" are never questioned, never challenged.And where has this emerged from; in a mystical insightful experience of the ancient Indian mathematician, Aryabhata.All of engineering and calculus and allied sciences would be non-existent without this empirical definition.and so would televisions and calculators and pdas and washing machines and so on....
Where does organic chemistry find its roots; in Kekule's mystical dream of the snakes...
A true scientific attitude calls for an intelligent, open explore.the domain of possibilities is infinite.
Can we pause to explore?
Do events cause our misery or is it our inner misery which reflects as events outside?
Are events a platform of expression of our inner states?
My explore has shown me that it is indeed true.We strive for changes in the world of manifestations when our focus should be on the platform of conception.The "manifestation" of events is a "happening" which depends on intent as well as effort.We put in a lot of efforts without much focus on the intent and its emergence.The intenet is a critical energizer to efforts and is in itself dependent on a host of things, some visible , others not.
As we go deeper within ourselves, we become aware of layers upon layers and layers of our conditionings and mental formations.Each of these layers facilitates emergence of events in our lives.And as we beocme aware, we are released of the conditionings; until we experience a total liberation from the mind and its contents.and just experience and live life; bereft of the filters.
Can we see it differently?
We seem to be addressing the symptoms rather than the root causes.While components of the system remain as they are, we seek a change in the summation.Rearranging the parts can create a cosmetic illusion, nothing beyond.Thus, we play around with perceptions, strategies etc while the fundamentals remain the same.
Man as an individual is ridden with conflicts.He is a 100 different parts himself; conflicts and confusions reign supreme within him; joy and sponstaineity are distinctly lacking.Hurts,rejection and pain qualify the core of his being.
Given such a situtaion, is he capable of contributing to healing processes of the collective, is the moot question?
Insights that occured in my life indicate otherwise.When the micro processes get healed, the macro has to respond.The seeds of change lie in the micro.And a morphogenetic quantum of micro level changes can enable a paradigm shift in the macro.Yes, the responsibility lies with each one of us.To address our conflicts, pain and hurts within...just see our states integrally, without condemnation, judgement or guilt.It is just the way we are.No justifications, no explanations.
Seeing ourselves as we are unfolds a miracle in creation.It is a "happening" , not a matter of effort.A flood of creative energies flow through us re-aligning our erroneous perceptions.
This is not intellectual masturbation.Try it out for yourself.Authenticate it personally.
Do not try to love; it is pathetic; instead become aware of the absence of love; the death of feeling within, the unabashed abuse of people in our lives, cloaked elaborately in declarations of love and caring.
But a word of caution; it is not easy to accept ourselves as we are when we see ourselves as manipulators and abusers; insensitive to the core.This is the greatest challenge; not escaping into guilt trips,not condemning ourselves, just seeing things as they are.
Then watch the miracle of life unfold, just as it is, pristine pure and unadulterated by conditioning.