Our purpose.....

a traumatic co-existence with wanting to discover my "purpose" in life has been a loyal presence for much of my life. a sense of "meaninglessness" has crippled me for the most part. It has paralysed me, rendered me non-functional. Second hand concepts , be they borrowed from ayn rand or jiddu or bach, have remained just that, concepts.I have nothing against various concepts, but seeing them for what they are , just "concepts" and projections far removed from my actual reality has helped me. I remember a prolific creator in the written medium, "osho" once creating a beautiful and expensive product. It found a lot of takers; who found just 1 line scripted inside; write your own story.....the entire book was blank...

Borrowed concepts , to me are like reading a map.They can never substitute for the actual act of visiting the place. They serve as indicators in the realms of human consciousness; but they are just that and nothing more. My "experiences" are uniquely mine, but where spiritual processes have helped me are to grow in my "abilities" or "capacities" to experience. For me , there has been a move away from "contents" of events or processes to an emphasis on "seeing" them non-judgementally. "Seeing" itself has been an "universe" of explore, with levels of my abilities to really "see" emerging....

The process saw a reshifting of my basic questions, a re-orientation of perceptions, which intrinscally had answers...or rather a dissolution of certain conflicts....my tools of explore also witnessed changes...i discovered faculties beyond the mind....this emerged from a realization that when the mind and its content is part of my conflict, it can atbest rearrange the conflicts.a solution or dissolution of the conflicts have to emerge from realms beyond the mind.The intrinsic attributes of the mind make it a wonderful tool for addressal of issues such as the creation of a chair or a car or a software programme....we have to use the mind; but a fundmental discrepancy I observed was that the mind with its accumalations has begun using us....and that creates the absence of joy and love and such other things that we aspire for...

we try to fit our lives into "concepts" that we have accumalated...because of a fundamental "incapacity" of the mind on such deliverables.....Conflict is an intrinsic quality of the mind as it is.....a residue forever remains on the best of our decisions...our "concepts" of right and wrong, good or bad, are forever dynamic and contextual.