the need to feel needed....

this post is a special for a new blog friend of mine , very young guy , from down under, he is going through his first heartbreak it seems...

we "need" to feel "needed"....and in my opinion, mistake this need, for love...

he needs her need of him and she needs his need of her...this would sum up most colloquial relationships....and when this equation gets skewed, heartbreaks occur....

i am not saying it is wrong...it just is..we need to be able to see it for what it is...

our whole life is a pathetic struggle to make ourselves more "desirable" in the eyes of the other...because of a constant "insecurity", the threat of not being needed any longer..

a mother feels threatened after the marriage of her son....she feels her "need" in his life has been eroded....

we do it at our workplaces, want to be indispensable to the boss.....so that we are not insecure of our future there...

to me, love happens only when "my need" has dissolved....until then it is a transaction....to grow in love, the "i" has to dissolve....love manifests when "i" am not....it is state of being..a river in flow....and heartbreaks are blessings in disguise for us to understand the true nature and power of love....

love is not insecure....they are mutually incompatible....it does not know fear..., "my need" experiences insecurity, fear....please note, i do not condemn it for what it is, but to avoid misery, it is critical to see things as they are....else, we will be "dis"illusioned""....

to expand our consciousness in love, to me, is the purpose of our lives, while we do keep addressing our needs as they occur....