Sri Bhagavan has said "Don't try to change another.It is not possible". This can be misinterpreted by some. Suppose your 10 year old child has recently exposed himself to the habit of smoking. As a parent , it is important for you to try and stop him. On the other hand, if your mother has a habit of being constantly critical of another or judging another, do not try to change it through advice; for it can backfire.She will get angry or may try to control her behaviour.After a while , it is back to square one. It is here that Bhagavan's statement comes into play. It is futile to try and changing another. It is prudent if we can accept them.
Also , on the aspect of accepting oneself; it does not apply to events in the outside world. if one has committed fraudulent behaviour anywhere, we will have to pay for it, today or tomorrow.On teh other hand, if one experiences a sense of lust, one should not deny it. One should accept it.The seeds of change lie in it's acceptance , not in resistance.We have to accept our inner world situation as it is.There is no point in trying to change it. It is an impossibility. Watching in awareness and accepting it, enables us to respond, not react. It is the same with anger. Reacting in anger is very destructive; however, one can respond discretionally in anger.
- from talks of Sri Sammadarshini.