domestic violence....

domestic violence issues discussed in a few blog spaces...

behind closed doors, horrors abound...in so called civilized, educated society...subtle dominances, mind games, manipulations, suspicion, mistrust....the list is endless...violence is not just physical...and either sex is capable of it...

a recent article talks about an editor of a british tabloid booked for violence against her hubby..ironically, she carries on a very vociferous campaign in the media against domestic violence...

in india, i have come across couples who have hardly interacted with each other in life...even after 30 years of marriage, the wife is afraid of expressing an opinion...recently, i was shocked to observe at an acquaintance's houses, ladies were dissuaded from participating in critical decision making processes of the household..and the person in q is a freq global traveller, an mba...he has to have the final word...

i have seen senior citizens absolutely ignored....marginalised in families....decimated to a vegetative existence...i have seen senior citizens dominate with an iron hand too...

violence will manifest when we are unable to accept people as they are, with the choices they have made... violence happens when we thrust our choices on to others...

converting people to "our" point of view...an endless pursuit for a lot of us...winning a point is more important...and in this war too, as in all wars,there are no winners...everyone is a loser...relationships get bruised...underlying tensions qualify our interactions...one is on alert every moment....to protect oneself...to judge lest we be judged...

discussions and interactions can still be very nourishing with different points of view...when it is not the "positionality" which is more important...positionality makes us poor listeners, poor learners; closed people...to me, that is again an escape, we dont want to feel threatened...

can't people with differing viewpoints still be friends...i think it is possible when relationships happen from the domain of the unchangeable, from our cores....not "images" relating to each other....images will keep changing....perspectives would keep evolving....and one has to relate from beyond domains of such emergence....the mind can transact under a set of conditionalities.....it is incapable of relating...not condemning the mind, it is just not the faculty.... for unconditional relates....

we carry so many conflicts within us...there is so much violence within....and it manifests unconsciously through our actions...

and all of us crave for peace...peace within can manifest outside....we cannot have micro pockets of conflicts create a macro manifest of peace....it will only be cosmetic...

i experience moments when positionality takes over...every now and then...and those moments are capable of immense violence, harshness....in expression...as awareness levels increase, one minimises such events....but makes me realize that each one of us is capable of the same.....it is a quality of "positionality".... and to me, positionality is an emergence in "fear".

hazaar examples in the ngo sector....of people from oppressed communities turn oppressors...we often become what we hate...

each one of us is "capable" of hate, abuse and all that we dislike conceptually..very thin dividing line....if we desire a change, the key is in integrity and awareness...and in acceptance..of ourselves as well as others....the seeds of any change lies in acceptance, not in rejection....

and while all efforts at alleviating such situations need to socially go on, it should be accompanied by each one of us discovering wellsprings of joy and love within us....we can only share what we have....only happy people can spread happiness...